::Kristos Kai Cosmos::

NEW BLOG!

2008-11-10T15:13:00.001+08:00

HI EVERYONE, SINCE A FEW WEEKS AGO, I HAD SHIFTED MY BLOG LINK TO http://eternityingod.blogspot.com

MANY PEOPLE NEVER NOTICE IT AS I NEVER PUT IT UP ON MSN.

I WOULD BE VERY HAPPY IF YOU CAN RELINK ME.

BE GREATLY BLESS.

Old Blog, New Link?

2008-10-15T13:58:00.000+08:00

I has decided... to change back my this blog to my old blog link and kept it as a memories, but my new blog shall be a brand new layout... See you guys at eternityingod.blogspot.com.

New walk of LIFE

2008-10-15T00:46:00.003+08:00

I wanna enter into a new walk in life with new memories, new encounters and sacrifices.

I changed this blog as a memorial to everything in my life. It is over and now it is the time to start again.

From scratch...

Sweet Memories

2008-10-02T00:17:00.002+08:00

Never imagined, I can live so long without blogging.

Having adjusting my life after SOT.

Seeking for more directions when I lost mine.

Everything seem to turn back to the times before SOT and I was trying to remember, to treasure and to hold it close to me.

Everyone have been in the mood of getting attached, dealing with rejections of those that didn't return the affection while turning their eyes upon the things that is important in life.

In this season, I remembering those precious times when I had my longer crush/love for someone that until today, I still smiled when I talked of it.

A child that was once my childhood friend, a child that if he never leave our hometown, maybe today, we will be together.

A child who I played with, had fun with, chatted on phone with, and sticked together everyday in school in those precious days.

Until today, it has been 11 years since I last seem him.

3 years of times together, 7 years of missing the times when we were playing, 4 years of putting the past behind me and these few years as I shared with my friends, I still remembered those times I rejected guys as they never carried the kindness, gentleness, funness that he had... And to think of, I was the one who being stubborn never contacted him ever again after a fateful morning in my primary 4 school days.

Regret? I had those. Sadness? I had those.

Laughters? I had those.

Thanksgiving? I had those.

For now thinking back, maybe because of the love I had for him, that why I learned to wait and never drop my standard.

Because of the patient that was cultivated, I learnt not to jump into any relationships without a process of thinking through.

Until today, facing these problems has been something I'm not good at, being some one who faced issues of it with my friends in my school days, yet, I deciding that to live my life fuller and to enjoy every moment of it.

Like in Wagaya no Oinari-sama, a phrase said by the main character, "first love never comes through."

He was my first love before I met God.

But now God has the first place and shall always be higher than anyone or things.

A sweet memory means much, but a love that is everlasting means everything to me.

Be Wise

2008-09-25T02:27:00.000+08:00

Understanding the meaning of being wise...

Being wise in the words that we said

Being wise in the relationships that we have

Being wise in every single details

I hoped to be wise, even though sometimes I lashed out when at times things get out of control.

Relationships being taken advantage of.

Friends relying too much or ask too much and it become a one way trip.

Think of it, always ask for a close friend but none appear.

If I never has one?

What shall I do?

Someone once asked me.

Now I understand...

Companion started with friendship but I must learn to move on for the higher I go, the more soothing companion I would find.

Sadness overwhelmed me.

Don't murder my life by letting me wait unnecessary for the commandment said, "do not murder."

Sometimes, it's good to voice it out isn't it?

Be it physically waiting for someone to arrive because of a promise to meet or waiting for something to happen.

Sometimes, I treasured friendships too much that waiting become a habit for me, and to think, other higher authority once told me that sometimes got to let go of the need for companion to walk the way of the Lord.

Maybe I need an indication...

A change even...

And I need to be smart, be wise, even going upward with God by His power and by my will to overcome all obstacles with Him.

Being able to be alone, doesn't sound that bad afterward...

I has been some others' support, now... Who can be my support except Jesus?

Good O'Brothers and Sisters

2008-09-19T01:16:00.000+08:00

I thanks God for giving me big brothers, for fun or for advises, they are good brothers that take good care of a young sister like me.

After sharing with big big brother, I see things in a clearer picture and I felt much more relieved.

While Garfield today also not bad, dragged me to some unknown yet known salon even though I was sort of being "forced" to go.

After fully cool down, I'm much more happy.

And it is just a beginning isn't it?

A beginning to execute my plans of makeover.

For God and for my own self.

After being suck dried while trying to guess what gal had gone through, not feel relieved to be able to believe in all things are possible through Christ who strengthen me.

In characters, in situations and in facing myself.

Now I can has a good night rest and all the best to the last day of my job... =) Jia you Evangeline...

Not Evan... But Evangeline.

Not a tomboy... But a woman.

To cool it off

2008-09-18T23:46:00.003+08:00

When we claimed to know somebody, how much we really know.

Using one name to claim that you know the person, how much you really know.

I don't fully understand one person but I slowly understand the heart yet all some see another is only through the surface.

God, I need to cool it off.

If it wasn't for someone who voiced out for me, I won't know how much this person who now seldom spoke to me really know my weaknesses while another who suppose to understand me, attacked my weakness.

It hurt Lord, yet it reminded me that I got to stand strong.

I thanks God for the person who covered my weakness.

I just need to cool my temper for now.

Faithful God

2008-08-27T17:56:00.001+08:00

God has always been faithful to me.

In areas that is uncertain.

In areas that seem impossible.

I never thought that I would get a chance to go out of Singapore, yet this vision that God placed within my heart is coming to pass.

After going round and round, failed to go to Taiwan, failed to go to Indonesia, failed to go to India, now I going to where God has placed in my heart.

It was all it takes for me to be focus.

Now, I left a few more weeks while waiting for further notice.

I got to persist till the end of the journey.

God, thanks for being faithful.

You are the best thing that ever happened in my life.

Radical Child

2008-08-20T23:39:00.000+08:00

Never thought that ever since I was 7 yrs old, I'm such a radical child. After talking to a SOT friend after telling why I was emoing, we started to realize, I was born to be radical. Let us take a good look at my radical records:

1. At the age of 7
I was known for being a troublemaker in school bus and at school. Famous for been punished along with friends during class lessons and teachers would call us to stand in front of the whole class.

2. At the age of 8
I caused a replaced teacher to lose job because my friend told me she gonna slap by the teacher and I ran and told her mum. Result, I got questioned, got scared but we earned a good form teacher in the end, who always let us watch documentary.

3. At the age of 10
I had been wanting to be a group leader. Always the assistant leader and one day, finally I became the group leader and 1 month later, all girl prefects, monitor, group leaders and all female communities of the class got called by form teacher. Guess what we did? We hit a guy for following the female communities whenever we went. From library to class. And guess who was the one stirring the heart of the people? My friends and I, been the oldest of the group got it good points. =X

Not only that, being one of the head librarian, I was known to be fierce and I would kick anyone who break the rules of quietness out of the library.

4. Now at my age...

I once again want to pick up the radical spirit. Not to do bad things.

But if I can do things like that in my childhood days... which a lot more remain hidden, which included ghost hunting etc and etc... God can use me to impact those around me.

Just like Paul who transformed from a persecutor of Christ to a strong believer and martyr of Christ.

Now I stop emoing and now I happy looking forward to my life.

Thanks you my ABBA.

For making me unique and for loving me wholeheartedly.

I want to love You more and more every single day of my life.

Back at wordpress

2008-08-20T18:36:00.001+08:00

So wordpress only load faster in the afternoon. From now on, night time blogger, afternoon wordpress. How it's sound like? Lol so random.

Remember!

2008-08-19T23:19:00.002+08:00

Oh my, I got so many books to finish.

Christ the Lord
God's Generals
Pastor Ulf Leadership series and many more...

Now God nowadays Kenrus never come and remind me about his book.

Own him for so long.

And thanks God, he seldom read my blog.

Or else... I run whenever I see him till I finish the book.

But my holiday is coming soon.

At least before the mission that I planning...

Hopefully everything will settle soon.

I feel like there are so many things that I wanna pen down, yet my mind is spinning faster than I can capture.

But then God is good nevertheless, my graduation is a few days time.

Been pestering my mum to go for it and been finding solutions to stop her from making excuses to be busy.

I even got to ask my sister to go for make-up CG.

But I want to make things happened.

Family salvation before 23.

Now the next time I want to make it happen, is going TTC for further study!

Anyone wanna sponsor me? =P

I planning to go and let them challenge my faith.

Been wanting to look for a Theology school.

Even if Lu Lu Jie said not very good to go, but then, I just planning to let my mind been bash with the Theology.

So any one with a heart to sponsor, I welcome you with all of my heart.

Freely giving and freely receiving.

Back here again!

2008-08-19T23:09:00.001+08:00

Wordpress is upsetting me.

So slow.

What to do?

God, I sticking with blogspot for now.

Or multiply?

Hahahaha...

But my new blog is nice... Nice blog skin, draw me toward it...

=X Nah... But I can't bear to leave blogger alone. Hahahah... Well, indecisive. =X Hahahah...

Well, I back... just be glad... hahahaha

Back at wordpress...

2008-08-15T23:33:00.002+08:00

I felt like I wanna shake my laptop and said ...

Wordpress, loads faster!

Now wordpress still slow but I gonna wait and blog there anywhere since I love the layout.

Go here to read more about my life: .

Preparing...

2008-08-13T00:29:00.003+08:00

Wordpress is so slow at loading for the night thus I'm back at blogger again.

Today had a session with Pastor Kong after the leader meeting.

Can say, I am convicted.

Convicted of preparing myself for the season when I wanna get attach.

But before that, my individual characters development must be stable.

And true to be say, sometimes we girls have too high expectations.

And to take away everything, I come to see that even for me, I only want someone who is passionate about God and missions, that all I want. All other requirements are just extra guidelines.

Since Pastor Kong said it, now it brought forth new views and thanks God, I learnt of it while I'm still "young".

Now I'm excited for tomorrow leadership class! Go go go!

Finding Eternity with God

2008-08-06T20:04:00.002+08:00

It has been such a long time since I last blogged.

Recently I found a new blog site called wordpress, it is nice to use and I might used it for revelational purposes.

I won't abandon this site of course since I can't bear to leave it alone.

You can now found new entries at http://eternityingod.wordpress.com.

See you guys again!

Joy of the LORD

2008-07-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

Today lesson is a bit different from the other days.

First session, we have deliverance but instead of talking about doorways of entry for demons, Pastor Mike talked about the spirit of infirmity. You could say that I know that it is passed down from my family generation and God show me what other spirits involved and just a moment, as I responsed to the altar call, the spirit left me and I was totally healed and released from the bondage.

Can say, the testimony of my friend when he was called out by Pastor Mike to be pray for really allowed God to speak into my heart and explored the areas of entry for the spirit to enter and remain with me for the past 8 years. Hallelujah God!

2nd session was even different. The atmosphere is full of joy and the minutes Pastor Mike entered, he laughed and laughed and he stretched his hand to Lu Lu Jie and she fall to the ground and started laughing.

Leslie and I started to laugh non-stop and Pastor Mike walked down from the stage and pointed his finger at Leslie and said Leslie need to be pray for the in-filling of the Holy Ghost.

I turned to him and asked him to get ready, and I kept laughing at him. Then Pastor Mike asked him to come out and he turned to me and said, "since you are laughing, why not, you come out also."

Laughing non-stop, I looked at him and was laughing and shaking. Then I walked up and next moment, I was on the ground laughing.

Then we went back to our seat and Pastor Mike walked to a brother sitting at the left side of the first row and kept waving his hand at the brother and he rolled out of his seat laughing and kept on falling under the joy of the Holy Spirit and laughing non-stop.

And next Pastor Mike walked back to Leslie and said he need more of the Holy Ghost and he kept waving at him while Leslie laughed and laughed.

Before I knew it, Pastor Mike turned to me and looked at me while I turned to find him looked at me and laid his hand on me. I fall and laughed. And then Pastor Mike called the whole row at the 1st row came to the front of the stage and before we knew it, we all fall under the joy of the Lord and laughing.

Pastor Mike went around and dragged Lu Lu Jie with him and they begun to start the ministering of the joy of the Lord.

The whole SOT was filled with the atmosphere of laughters and when he stopped, he asked us to go into group of 3 and did 3 things.

1st, he demonstrated how to gently bring the love of Christ and allow one to fall under the love of God while connecting spirit to spirit and blow at the person.

2nd, he demonstrated how to strongly bring the power of Christ and allow one to fall under the power of God strongly like there is a impact on the person while blow strongly at the person.

3rd, he demonstrated how to allow the joy of the Lord to flow from us and this time round we are allowed to open our eyes and while looking at one another, we fall under the joy of the Lord and laughed non-stop.

But nonetheless, at the end, Pastor Mike said there will also be great deep inner healing tomorrow as now God is preparing us for His ministering.

I awaiting to see what the Lord has prepared for me tomorrow. Since the first day, God did so much for me, through Pastor Mike, his wife, Lu Lu Jie and other ministers and also myself, I slowly feel the intense love that God has for me.

Praise God for placing me at this moment to witness the greatest breakthrough of my life. Hallelujah!

Back???

2008-07-02T19:34:00.000+08:00

Back so soon... Lol... Well, I decided to be back to blog.

Wonderful weeks I had.

Lovely encounters with God.

And secretly, I blogged elsewhere.

But back to topic, I glad to announce my return to blogspot.

I saw this lovely skin.

Still thinking should I use it for I so used to this kind of DIV blog skin.

But anyway, coming SOT really change everythings about me.

My mindset, my visions, my dreams and even now, when I looked back, I thanks God for His deliverance.

As I helped some to deliver, I sensed the compassion and love of God that I can't help but tears.

That is what we known as God's love.

So many set free.

God really is a loving God and He is greatly to be praise.

I loved Him for who He is to me.

Thanks God for taking the first step to love me.

Now I happily enjoyed reading my book.

And doing my works.

Well, hopefully, I can blog more revelations.

Tata...

A break...

2008-06-14T00:20:00.001+08:00

Hi everyone...

I will be away for a break for a month.

Without blogging...

I think since I seldom blogged nowadays, so you guys can get use to me having a break for a month.

Hopefully by then when I am back, I will change something about this blog.

Bye guys!

Hope to see you guys after a month...

Changing Response

2008-06-13T15:23:00.000+08:00

Situations demand response.

Calling demand response.

People's opinion demand response.

I learn to talk less and do what I feel the Spirit led me to do.

Some understand.

Some don't.

But I just got to move forward.

I got not only a great calling.

But to fulfill it, it demand my focus and faithfulness.

I got to make my response different.

Get ready world!

Get ready people!

I shall be the ME that I should be!

Don't think I look young, sound young (voice), I can be push over.

Now I got to do the things I need to do.

Not my will but YOURS be done

2008-06-02T00:03:00.000+08:00

Ever since the Indonesian Night, it is never the same for my life.

Carrying in my calling, I moved even closer as I starting to discover God's will for me.

Entering into mission trip for Kedah, I glad to have a chance of being a translator.

From someone who gave testimony in the past during youth meetings to translating someone's testimony to Chinese, I learns to rely on God and prayed for Him to release His anointing in my life once again but this time, I prayed to God to allow me to see things in the view of the one who gave testimony.

God is good, Victor said that it carried life and I believed, God is the One who make things happened.

Lot of oppositions came when we on our way to Kedah.

Han-wei get stopped at Singapore because he left his pass with someone.

Livingston was being used to get bribe from the team but thanks God we managed to get away.

The church lightning and air-con was down before the last meeting but thanks God for a member who know lightning.

After everythings, I still enjoyed being on the trip.

Pastor Daniel not only brought us to eat some really nice local food but Dave also brought some food for us.

And we have fun time taking many photos.

Now I pondering what is the next trip to go.

Should I go for Kuching one or Batam one?

Must really pray.

For it is not my will but God's will to be done.

Healing Power to Manifest

2008-05-22T21:51:00.001+08:00

I praying for healing.

Need it at this moment now.

Seeking healing

2008-05-20T21:10:00.002+08:00

A few days never blog.

Now I down with a minor flu.

Seeking healing not only from God but from some drink that will cool my heaty-ness down.

Hope to get well very soon.

Pre-Indonesian Night

2008-05-16T11:24:00.002+08:00

Thanks God for making things possible.

Has been wanting to go but as my mind is asking me what about CGM, I reasoned with myself and ended up agreed to go for CGM.

Yet my heart said otherwise.

Pondering me.

I prayed and really want to go.

A few of my SOT friends came and asked me over the Indonesia Night and I really wanna to go yet I can just pray for God to show me a way.

God is faithful

Like 2 years ago when I struggled between a vision given by my mentors and a vision given by God, it is till a group of missionaries from different part of the world that gathered together in SG and through my leader, I met them and shared of my burden and visions.

Really God always keep His words.

I prayed over it, Bobby came and urged us to go and it is so overwhelming that I cried.

Missions missions missions...

I dream of it, think of it, whatever thing I do, I just can't forget about missions.

Lord, let this be a small beginning.

Where You will direct me.

Where I won't be relying on myself but You.

Holy Spirit, be my personal Guide.

Tonight, let me received a vision from You about Indonesia.

Prepared my heart God...

Awakened My Soul

2008-05-15T01:06:00.000+08:00

It took an earthquake to resurrect the vision of mine for missions.

It took my spirit to groan out for me to know why God always placed this deep burden within me whenever I saw a disaster.

When I was Sec 1, for the 911 incident, I was so hitted in my soul that for many days and weeks and even months, I had been going around, asking people to email, smsing and asked people to pray for those who survived and those who died. I was a non-believer then, but the sadness of seeing so many people died at one go, made me cried for days for the victims and continued to chase after the news even when people stopped talking about it.

When I had gotten saved, for my 1st Christmas with God, I received news of the biggest tsunami that had happened during Christmas season, I was so hit in my soul and spirit that I prayed everyday for the nations, cried everyday while reading news and even deciding to enroll into Nursing course because of the burden within me to really wanna equipped myself so that in future when disaster happened, I can be of some helps.

Now finished my course and enrolled into SOT, I received news of the earthquake in China that already killed 20,000 people, and with 60,000 people missing and uncontactable. Many students died in the earthquake and overnight, many parents lost their beloved child, be it their only child or all the children they had, overnight, every things are gone and a deep burden felt upon me.

I wondered who can I share?

I wondered who I can confine in.

When someone interpreted the tongue and said she saw a vision of someone having many people standing behind, I was trembled. It is way out of the interpretation for family issue, the world has become my family from the moment when my soul groaned for the lost souls and those who died.

It took an earthquake to awaken that vision of mine to be a missionary.

And all I can do now is to pray and pray till there is an open door while I fulfill whatever I am to fulfill in Singapore.

Maybe before I came to Christ, God already planned for me to carry this vision for nations. Now to think back, every tears I shredded, every passion I had, it wasn't for nothing.

I wondered when will the time come for me to be away.

But I know for now, I got to tarry for as long as I can.

I don't care what the world think now.

God, as I rely on God, show me where to head to.

I don't want to rely on my own strength and forget about my vision.

Life is short.

I wonder when Jesus is coming back but yet many haven't heard of Him.

Let me be one of those who is in the world outside, preaching the good news.

Evangeline = Good News.

Maybe I am called to be an Evangelist after all.

I got to be even more equip then ever before if I wanna to fulfill my calling.

Reading, Reading, Reading...

2008-05-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

I got so much books to read.

Bible, spiritual-filled believers and many more.

Wow, becoming a bookworm...

Yet after all, I just wanna said, I thanks God for wonderful mum and dad.

My dad is getting loving toward me and would often come in and ask how am I?

My mum is trying her best to ensure I don't get financial overwhelmed and all she said was, just ensure when I go out and work, I will give her some allowance which I will for that part of honoring your mother and father.

I just prayed to God that as I endure through the remainder 3 months and 3 weeks, my life will not only change tremendously but everything around me will experience changes.

While I getting heighten up on reading books, but I thanks God that He still there to guide me, bless me and comfort me.

Now I must really work hard, read hard and apply all that I learn and receive into my life.

It's reading time!

May God give me more wisdom. may Holy Spirit be there to guide me and may Lord Jesus showed me more about His goodness as I live my life by faith. Amen!

Awaiting Promise

2008-05-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

Waited for a voice and I found many voices.

I searched for the Lord's voice in the back of my mind, but 2 voices appeared.

I felt the peace in my heart to listen and I finally once again go back to the promise.

Yes!

My Lord never fails me.

He never fails to keep His promises.

Yes, just 1 year and 8 months to go.

After a time of restarting the journey with God...

Now is the time to taking the promise and walk even stronger with God again.

For the next few years till my 22nd birthday, I'm excited to see what is coming my ways.

Many times has been coming in place and I know my God is never too late.

I seeing my visions coming closer to me.

Talents being multiplied.

And I more open to learn from people around me.

I'm awaiting the promise of God and I shall not lose heart.

It's a time of tally with God.

Bouncing Back

2008-05-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

Nothing compared to bounce back from obstacles.

After a conversation with Pearly and gotten a listening ear, I felt much better since I always wanna to find someone to talk to whenever I got sad, happy things to share.

It isn't easy definitely.

Cliff said it before.

Victor said it before.

Hui Jun said it before.

Even Michelle said it before.

More obstacles, more mountains to climb.

Yet with God, with His strength, I can overcome all things in life.

Now it seem like the prophesy is becoming more and more real to me.

Now it is no longer diluted chances.

But it is a true warfare.

Now to think back, I choose to give a different respond.

Even since the times I "divorce" the devils from my life, from direct attacks, to using my close ones to attack me, it showed me that he is only as stupid as to come up with the same tactics every single time I just mentioned a vision.

I glad that I got support with me.

It is not easy.

Cause human are imperfect.

But at least I know.

Through it all, I got God to hold on to.

And people who support me.

I bouncing back! Thanks God for His grace and mercy.

And now, to end it off, for SOZO EXTREME CAMP!

I will be taking leave.

And I was surprised when being asked to be the AOGL for another CG.

They in need of a AOGL and my PCGL thought of me and asked me.

That when I choose to take leave.

I had been praying for God to show me a way whether I should take leave.

Now I can take leave with a peaceful heart.

For at first, schooling is important to me, yet I can't decide for myself till I leave it for God to decide for me.

God is indeed good.

To think I got sent out to help my friend's CG, and to think, when thinking of who to send for, my PCGL suggested to the committees to send me.

Now, if only one day when the leaders think of who to send out to missions and they would think of me.

That what I told Pearly and we all laughed.

Cause that is my dreams and she AMEN with me.

We start things small.

And I start things small.

God give the promotion and increase while we do our part to be faithful with the little.

I coming with a different attitudes now.

God, guard my heart.

I shall become a strong woman in Christ my Lord

Intense Moments

2008-05-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

I might have know this for long, but I found that the devils super dislike me.

Through people I know especially, the devils seek to find a loophole to attack my heart if I fail to guard my heart.

I never know I must really guard over my heart.

For the words of discouragements and rejections really come one after another especially when I regain my visions.

Everytime happened after a vision.

Now I know how much the devils hate my visions.

Just a vision, haven't seem the works yet and the devils make sure he can find a loopholes in my heart.

Now I gonna pray even more, especially in my secret place with God to ensure by the times I come out, I will be different.

Much more different.

Many lives is in my hands.

Through the visions I saw.

I wanted so much to hold it even tightly and I don't know how sensitive I am toward it till I am being challenge again and again in this area.

Now I will be much careful.

I shall not turn back and would not turn back, no matter how much it pain me.

I might try to smile with all my might but I shall seek back the joy of the Lord and I will keep it within me.

It is the intense moments of warfare.

And I will reign victoriously with Jesus.

A Heart Lighten

2008-05-10T13:34:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I realised, this is the me that is awaiting to be released.

A me that is looking forward to the world.

A me that is wild.

A me that is not as young-looking as the me that people is used to.

It took me with a determined heart, waited for 2 whole hours, to see the me that is different.

Remind me of the times I snipped my hair away under the hands of a female hairstylist.

This time, I tried something different and it is a male hairstylist who do that for me.

Wow...

I think it must be his first time trying the hairstyle I required for he was sweating badly under a air-conditional condition.

Many hairstylists came by to take a look at my hairstyle and I was so shy, and could only smile while praying for my hair.

It was fine and with an urge and I went and took out a bottle of hair dye that I kept and never dare to try and guess what, I did it!

It is the same hair color as my previous hair color when I still had my short hair about 1 year ago.

I happy with new look.

It look more like me.

Thanks God letting me receiving advice.

Many and including some brothers said I should have my old hairstyle but this ex-friend aka also a brother told me not to cut it and even many female hairstylist didn't even dare to snip my hair away.

I mean, should I be heart pain?

If the previous hairstyle doesn't make me look sharp.

This one surely make me look better and more confident.

I dare to say, this is the me that the ex-N266 saw me as.

The me that when my leader saw me, he knew I was different and through God, I received a promotion.

Now I awaiting for my destiny to unfold.

Maybe I will grow my hair out a little bit more but yet I will keep it there.

Be ready devils!

Evangeline is on her way to fight back!

Creating Destiny

2008-05-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

I thanks God for never abandon me.

It is by His grace that I am still around, learning to love Him even more every single day and continue to follow the ways He gave me.

Yes, too many round-about.

He gave me many chances.

Someone told me today, every new chance caused our destiny to turn a little bit.

And how many diluted chance do I hope to get?

I now don't want to think of the possibilities of God keep on giving me chance.

I now only want to think about how to follow Him closely so that I can ensure I am in His path and walk the ways He want me to walk.

Many things I don't seem to grab even right now.

But I questioned too much in the past.

I asked too much people in hope that I can receive an answer and now I realized, I already got the answer and I had seem breakthrough before, and now?

It is just a higher level of breakthrough.

Yes, God spoke and I just listen.

My destiny is mine to create.

And God is there for me to lean on.

I can't expect things to turn out perfectly well for me.

Yet I can be assured that as long as my God is with me, I shall have no worries.

I SHALL create my DESTINY!

Breaking Process

2008-05-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

Today I once again feeling so emotional.

It felt like something is breaking with me.

I can't grab the feeling and I wondered why?

Did it got to do with some articles that I came across the previous night or is it got to do with my spirit, soul and body?

I can breaking apart under the power of God.

I can moving ahead in a more faster pace than ever before.

It is not easy and I don't expected it to be easy but I pray from now on that may the Lord guard my heart and thought strictly so that I can fulfill that wonderful vision of God.

Start with a capacity of 50-60 and ultimately, within the next 5 years, have a capacity of 1000 people.

Grabbing on, is the anointing of God.

I want His wisdom, His anointing yet most of all, I want more of Him.

It is a breaking process and I glad that I am allowing myself to be broken so that I can has an even more intimate relationship with God.

Strength from the LORD

2008-05-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

Being in SOT is really different.

Dwelling in His presence never seem to be enough.

Sharing and receiving revelations from one another are even awesome than I can ever imagine.

Even if the person sharing isn't a leader or being in ministry as long as me, yet when God speak, He really speak in ways we can't imagine.

Listening to a friend sharing and lending a listening ear really is very different from just talking and talking.

I learn to slow down my heart and pace and listen to the voice of God and at the same time move in the gifts of God.

It is wonderful to learn to be relational rather than task-oriented.

And for the whole day, I was so excited cause I got a feeling that it won't be the end of this.

If God wanna break me, so be it!

I wanna be different and I wanna be the Evangeline that God called me to be.

My heart yearns for You, my soul longs for You.

Now going for my bible reading and then once again spending times with God.

Tomorrow got school, follows by some free time for me to fellowship and then sit in Michelle's P&W practice.

So happy that I can finally sit in.

The last time I sit in, was Hui Jun's P&W which is 8 months ago. She asked me to join her and observed the ways she led P&W and she gave me a vision.

Now I understand why I am being place at where I am.

No matter how many times I shared this, I will never get tired for God really got His timing and when it is the right season, opportunities will find it ways and now I just see glimpse of it.

Last time, I was so unsure and so blur.

Now, I am different, for my God shall give me the strength to do the things I never do before.

Moving up to the next level

2008-05-07T21:07:00.000+08:00

Learning about worship stirred my heart to move up to the next level and learn to be a worship leaders.

Before I can ever think of being a leader, I must first be a worshipper that usher down the presence of God upon this earth.

I only left 4 months to reach for the vision that God once placed within me.

It all started with a dream and went deeper as a leader turned to me and said "see you on stage one year from now."

It started with just a word, just a vision and now it turned into a passion.

I never was someone musically incline, yet I know if I am willing, I can release the anointing that is within me.

It is not about technique but is about engaging the people and bringing them into the holies of holy.

Tomorrow I going to sit in for zone practice for Praise and Worship and I am so excited.

Thanks God for opportunity.

Thanks God for the chance and encouragement that You gave me.

And thanks God for speaking through people that build up my faith to take the first step into an area that I only dream of yet never been able to try.

God already planned for my CG to be small so that I can use this opportunity to grow with the rest of the people and to learn things that I never do before.

I really moving to the next level.

And this time, I got others with me.

Decision?

2008-05-06T21:34:00.000+08:00

It has came to me...

Did I make the decision because of people or because I really wanna to go for it?

At first I heard of it, I wanna to go for it so much and then after seeing someone, made me wanna choose it even more and yet I also wanna go many other places too.

I wondered, what to think of my decision?

I just wanna put aside everything for now, and locked everything and then continue to fulfill what I want.

Staying silent and fulfilling what I wanna to do is better than looking at people and get affected.

It happened too many times for me, no matter who they are, I now no longer can think much for my mind is not disciplined in the ways that I want.

I wanna to take back the decision for people said I do that because of this and that but now I think back, taking away all distracting factors, I will still choose it no matter what.

Now what?

Nothing, I need to empty my mind so that I can finally know the path my Shepherd give me.

My mind too mess up by the words of many people.

Now, I need to settle down my mind again and think for myself, what is my passion again?

What I really want?

And what I hope to achieve?

I still a human, and weaknesses is still with me no matter what people viewed of me.

But I got strengths and now I need to focus on my strengths.

This remainder 4 months is precious to me.

It determine my path.

I just need to make sure I am not losing focus.

No matter what, I can't make decision based on feelings but based on God.

I got to learn to extract myself from many voices and ultimately learn to hear the voice of God.

Decisions, I learning to make the right ones.

Praying!

2008-05-05T23:35:00.000+08:00

A bit sad when I looked at the modified courses.

I discovered that we won't be study the book of Daniel and Revelations.

For me who loved these 2 books, I am a bit down.

Yet I told myself, nonetheless SOT is still good and I can still pray for them to change the courses to include these 2 books.

Talking about this 2 books reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend from NYP cluster.

Also knowledgeable in theology.

Thanks God for sending people like that, for now I can raise up anything and we can discuss.

Which I seldom able to do so especially after my last BS class with Gabriel.

It is not easy to find people who are knowledgeable in theology.

I still wanna learn in details about Daniel and Revelations.

Though I gonna learn about Christology and Theology too.

Which are also the subjects that I waiting for.

Pray pray pray!

Have Daniel and Revelations study!

Breakthrough into another realm

2008-05-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

Coming into SOT is not my actual breakthrough.

Receiving a new hp and laptop is not my actual breakthrough.

My actual breakthrough is what I going to experience in the next few weeks to next few months of study in SOT.

Getting the chance to lead Praise and Worship for mock CG caused my palms to sweats.

I mean, I was a long time game mistress, able to preach in 7 minutes (All helpers need to train in this area), testimony still okay, offering not bad...

BUT I NEVER TRIED TO LEAD PRAISE AND WORSHIP!

To us, the stages to rising up all started with games (I led games for one whole year), testimony and offering (after CG multiplied then I was promoted to this area), then before reaching leadership, is praise and worship then followed by the word of God when you are a full-fledge CGL.

Thus I always believe, maybe in future I will do it but I never thought, God will let me do these 2 areas at one go.

My eyes went o.o and I can't help but wondered what going to happen. Now all it left is the preparation with the guitarist which high chance I will find Brendan to help me.

Am I getting a step closer to where I wanna be?

I do not know.

But I know it is a good ground for me to breakthrough.

2 more days to mock CG.

God, help me!

Only You can do a miracle, especially when I know nothing about praise and worship.

Only You can give me wisdom!

Like King Solomon, I need to pray and seek for wisdom in the Lord.

I'm breaking through into another realm.

Answer?

2008-05-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

When shall I fully understand the plans of God?

Up till now, it is still a mystery for me.

Things happened unexpectedly.

Emotions arise beyond what I expected.

What can I expect now but for a move of God.

Soaking in His presence is what I ask of now.

To put aside earthly vessel and turned my eyes upon the Lord.

I always seeking for an answer to everything in life and now, I put aside all seeking and pull myself to seek the One who has the answer.

Life is not easy, neither will it be tough.

Life is just difficult in those unpredicted moments.

And life is just easy to live with when everything goes according to what you want it to be.

But all I want now is to go pass this stage of hard-pressing and become a fine oil for God to use.

This earthly vessel of mine, I leave it for God to decide what He wanna to do with it.

I lived long enough with God to know that certain situations in life is beyond what I asked for.

Forget about just seeking for answers.

Focusing on seeking the One who has the answer.

Beyond Expectation

2008-05-05T01:07:00.000+08:00

Just had a conference with Pearly and Elijah.

I must said God do way beyond my expectation.

Having a stomachache, enduring the pain and continued the prayer conference with Elijah, I thought that that is the end of the day, but God sent Pearly and we had a conference that lasted for 45 mins.

Pearly shared with us what Cliff thought about us and how we had all changed and as I listened, I felt like tearing for the words came from a leader who witnessed the growth and struggles I went through in leadership and the decisions I made in life. He was a leader who I always honor his decision for me for he was someone who I viewed as my father and I always remembered Hui Jun said to me about having a father-child relationship.

Yes, it is like a warfare to me recently.

Pearly passed through the stage.

And now I believing in my breakthrough to come.

I know it is not going to be easy.

For the Lord never said it will be a smooth road.

It really touched my heart to hear that the changes that occurred in Elijah and I is slowly showing out.

Pearly was so funny when she gave a challenge to Elijah.

He is to be able to lead men age range from 20-23 in the next few months time.

And I will play a role.

He is suppose to use me as a guide and dress like he is my age.

Mind you, he is only 16 years old now.

Though sometimes I found him looked old. (When he is in a formal wear)

So I kept on laughing and laughing.

I even said that I looked so young, why used me as a rough guide?

But I feel honor.

To all friends not from GT zone, if in future, you ever saw someone looked around my age walking beside me, mind you, he might be my co-worker, Mr. Elijah Xu. Pearly and I shall make sure he evolve to be mature-looking than now. No t-shirt for him anymore. Though wearing suit is a bit too much but if he feel that how he can look mature... Hahaha...

Rest of the conversation leave it for private chatting and joking.

Good night to all.

And lastly, thank Hui Jun for the short msn conversation.

As always, I missed talking to her. But it was great to hear that all leaders are going up to another new level. I must chased up soon.

Can't stay at the same place and expect to see results.

Must move on so that I will receive an even greater result.

Pray until the Lord answered

2008-05-04T18:11:00.000+08:00

Imagine, if I just pray a pray and carried the faith to believe it can come to pass, how much more can't my heavenly Father restricted Himself from me?

Remembering the days when I obeyed His voice and raised up my building fund amount and deciding to let go of the thoughts of changing a new Hp and laptop and entering into SOT and just 1-2 months before SOT, God blessed me with all that I wanted through my parents.

From a non-sponsor, to a sponsor, I walked down the path that my leaders once walked and just as they once said, the anointing flow from top to bottom and I thanks God for giving me the anointing even though my school fees is not sponsored but the rest of my necessity, through one way or another, is covered.

Recently Benjamin suddenly talked to me and offered a job to me after SOT ended. I still praying to see which path God want me to take. I was surprised for I just told God to show me an opportunity and it came just went I thought of it.

For years, I already realized how a thought toward the Lord turned into a prayer and beside I haven't see my destiny unfold, I had already witnessed miracles in my life when God answered to my desires when I placed His will above me.

When it came to me as a revelations, I'm realized, if that what God can do for me, imagine when I turned my attention to the souls out there. What else God can't do!

Pray till something happened!

It is a new dedication from now on.

To pray more than usual.

To imagine more than usual.

The souls that would enter into the venue of CG and services.

Yes, it will happen!

This year will be the year of greater breakthrough!

Out of the Thoughts

2008-05-04T17:53:00.002+08:00

A day of Sabbath, a day where I think back the past 1 week and reflected on myself, and a day of being emotional than usual.

It is a day, when I like to be alone and goes into my own thoughts and to do my own stuffs without much interaction with people, beside msn and sms.

Yes, I only managed to accomplish 50% of what I want to do. 50% more to go.

A while back, I was doing admins and suddenly I thought back to the day when I was spiritual birthed into the Kingdom of God. Followed by it, I tried to remember the day I went for baptism. For a moment I wondered, which year is it? Surprisingly I could remember the date, but I forgot the year.

Searching deep within my mind, I still can't remember and all I could do is to look for an envelop where I carefully kept my certificate along with a few others letters and certs.

Searching through it, I found a letter written by Cindy when CG newly multiplied last year.

It was a letter long forgotten, and kept neatly in the envelop.

Curiously, I read through the letter for I forgotten what is the content about and whenever I got a letter, I will read it and kept in nicely in my envelop and letter box, as I love to receive letter from my loved ones, and considering the fact that I'm not born to be artistic in writing, when people wrote me letter, I will be very touched for all I always do is to make something or buy something for them.

As I read something, I came across something that touched me deeply.

"Somehow I feel you are someone who's covered by a lot of God's grace."
It got me puzzled at first, for shouldn't we all being covered by His grace? If I am covered by "a lot of God's grace", shouldn't I called myself Grace instead of Evangeline?

Yea as I pondered further, I realized, the Lord has really and continues to be good to me.

I wasn't called Grace for He already covered me with His grace even during moments when I hardened my heart.

I am called Evangeline for my name symbolized who I am to become.

"A messenger of God"
I am not called into God's grace, blessings and love only.

I am called to be in world missions and being part of the warriors in the kingdom of God to share of His goodness.

I am covered by His grace so that I can be totally pure in His presence.

For all have sins and fallen short of the glory of God.

Without His grace, my sins couldn't be forgiven.

And I believed, the grace He has given to me, led me out of my past totally.

For the devils will use it to stop me from moving, but God's grace will propel me to move on.

Yes, my God is a wonderful Father.

Yeah!

2008-05-04T00:57:00.000+08:00

Before I go and sleep, I really wanna thanks the fellowship. Knowing that my youths might not see this.

Really missed you guys, seeing you guys gotten saved and ultimately, after just seeing you guys gotten saved while I was at the tertiary side, after which, I was placed with the youths again.

It was a great time with you guys, we went through happy moments, sad moments, touching moments.

We shedded tears of joy together, seeing people leave and came back to the LORD, and we saw people who never came back, yet through all those tough times, we built up strong bond.

Surely as it is, even when we spent lesser time together and with the remainder E457 youths, we are going to grow the CG again, this time, only with the west people.

After a special vowing, we are officially, coming back to EXPO for service, wohoo....

People asked me how come our CG transferred so much, but it is just a season for us to discover our destiny.

Now our destiny is to create be a prayer group that pray and reach out to friends and family.

We are still the same fun loving fortified servant, with brand new much of youths.

We are moving forward, not backward and even if we started small, we will end up big.

Faithful with the little and God will give us much.

New E457 jia you!

We will really fulfill all that we believe and have faith for.

Charging for a New Day

2008-05-04T00:40:00.000+08:00

Finally I'm home after a long day. Decided to make tomorrow my Sabbath day, need to really give my body a good rest for yet another week.

Impacted during prayer group today as we gave a word and prayed for one another. Yes, Cell Group is no longer called Cell Group at this moment. Gabriel decided to change it to prayer group and for the past 2 weeks, we had been praying and really tapped into God's presence like never before.

Ps. 119:1-3 [NLT]
1 Joyful are people of integrity,
who follow the instructions of the Lord.
2 Joyful are those who obey his laws
and search for him with all their hearts.
3 They do not compromise with evil,
and they walk only in his paths.

I believed, as we walked in the ways of God, no matter in our own personal life to our public life, as long as we walked in joy in purity, God will do much more for us and make sure we will always be in His ways.

It is as in all the had been happened, were there to not only strengthening me but to preparing me for the next level.

It is near, I know it.

Maybe I knew it long time ago, but the pressure of people caused me to wanna rush God.

But God is never too late, and never too early.

I know when the time come for my vision to be fulfill, it will happen at the right time.

I just got to be more patient, more enduring and most of all, learn to be a good shepherd.

I am charged for another new day, another new week.

The destiny is coming one day closer.

Resting time!

2008-05-02T21:16:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I only catch 1-2 hrs of sleep last night.

What has happened to the weather recently?

I was tired to the core after stayed awake up way past my normal sleeping time, then the minutes I laid down, my whole body was aching.

I turned and turned on my bed, trying to catch some sleep but failed. Leaving with no choice, I turned to the next resolve, my beloved sofa in my room. It was my makeshift bed and yesterday afternoon, I had been spending at least 2 hrs on the sofa sleeping to replenish myself of the sleep I prevented myself from having so that I can reach school early.

Oh my, I couldn't even sleep on my beloved sofa. =X

So in the end, I ended up on my bed again, this time too tired to turn anymore and finally I forced myself to sleep.

But by the time I woke up, only 1-2 hrs had passed and I got no choice but to force myself to go took a shower.

Amazed at how for the whole day at school, I could be so awake.

No one knew I didn't really sleep well beside Lexx, Kai Yun and Brendan. Being the first one to reach school, I think those times I spent outside of the premise allowed me to take some time to read my bible and to replenish myself for the lesson afterward.

Come to think of it, sitting at the front is good and coming early just paid off the effort of killing my flesh.

From someone who at first felt that don't need to come super early, to someone who now promised Abba to come early, God is still good to me despite a few circumstances I encountered.

Most of all, today I got back my headphone.

Being careless, I accidentally dropped my headphone in the hall. Never thought someone will pass it to the reception. Thanks God for answering praying. Every single day I had been telling God that I believed somehow He will bring back my headphone, even if it is not bad, I insisted not to buy a new one till I finished SOT since buying new one mean need to fork out more money that is not necessary at this moment.

Every spending got a price to pay.

I just wanna make sure I paid it for a good cost.

My body continued to function even when my mind was half gone.

Helping Li Fen with some admins, and in the end, managed to finish everything for her, plus got Lexx's eyes helped to check the data I done.

I must said, knowing the stage I was in, I better do the typing and Lexx handled the reading and lo and behold, when Li Fen checked out work and asked me to help read some names, I saw the wrong name and read wrongly and both of us were shocked for a moment than discovered, I saw the wrong name.

Li Fen asked how come I didn't wear spectacle, so in the end said I forget and admitted being sleepy-headed. (Actually I took it out when I changed a new bag then left it on my table. So considered forgotten about it. =P)

Talked to Lexx about thinking whether should pick up a job or not. Cause Lexx adviced me to do so even if I got saving and I got a few options to ask of. But I really need wisdom, I don't wanna make a wrong move and miss out on the move of God. Detour is not fun at all, and most of all, it is draining. How many times in life I made a detour just to reach where I am. I just wanna make sure I walk in the peace of God.

Then after which, really must be God planned for me to meet Angela.

I missed my bus when I reached interchange. (I purposely missed it cause too pack plus I was too tired to stand for half an hour. So I was thinking of taking the next one. That was 6.30pm that time.)

Turned out, Angela wanna asked me to wait for her as she got a visitation to go and we could travel together. I was happy for I got to fellowship with someone again. (Accompanied people becoming part of my life already. Either people got some ways to convince me to take time to travel with them or I followed them so that can fellowship more, either way, even if I wanna to chat, turned out, it is good to hear people chatting.)

So in the end, I insisted waiting for her as her bus took a long time to reach the interchange.

Had a nice time accompanied her and a new friend also wanna to meet me.

So in the end, went to find the new friend, spent sometimes talking to her and took my time to walk home and allowing myself to feel the wind.

How long had it been since I ever walk the road from my secondary school to my house?

I can't really remember.

By the time I was home, it was 8.30pm.

Drained physically, yet in all other aspects, it was still a fulfilling day for me.

Now is finally the time for some rest.

I must catch up with the sleep that I had missed out last night.

I still feeling a bit diao when during the 1-2 hrs of sleep, I got a dream. =X

I told Lexx, I wanna do dream interpretation since Daniel also knew how to do it.

Nearly got a knock on my head as usual. =X

But before I forgot, I today saw a "loving" brotherly scene of Brendan and Joel eating a sandwiches while Lexx and I waiting for Li Fen to give us some works.

And there was another funny moment when a few guys and I crowded around the AXM machine to trying to figure the way to submit our school fees.

Why so funny?

Cause we are like blur turkey. Trying to use all ways to figure the machine, plus the guy using the machine looked younger than Joel and we laughed when the guy is younger than him. =X

At least Joel got a forgiving heart for I kept on laughing and nearly earned a knock on the head from Lexx.

Missed Pearly, she had been sick for a week.

And all sisters were away except me, a sister among the bunch of "brothers".

Am I their brother?

Or are they my sister?

I think I must be very tired to type random stuffs like that.

SOT is fun, being spiritual is one thing.

Build strong friendships is another thing.

Meet nice people and not so nice people also another thing.

There are lessons to be learned everyday.

I better go rest.

Or else my brain will be gone. =X

Keep me awake Lord.

Tomorrow going for expo service again.

Hoping to get nice seats again for everyone. =)

The Pillar in the House of God

2008-05-02T00:41:00.004+08:00

Someone asked me a question today, "how to become a pillar in the house of God."

My answer is Rev. 3:12.

He who overcomes
Sometimes, we neglected the fact that to be a pillar, is not that hard.

Yes, to endure trials and tribulations are hard.

To wait for the promises to come to pass is hard.

But to overcome them is even harder yet at the same time, not as complicated as we think it is.

I know I sound confusing.

Not as simple yet not as difficult as it sound?

Yes, that what I had been saying.

You might scratch your head and wonder, what do I mean?

The answer is very simple.

Endured through the pains of suffering (long suffering), be patient for the promises and you will see yourself overcoming all obstacles in life.

One key to being a pillar in the House of God is to never GIVE UP!

The minutes you give up, you can be assured, none of your promises will come to pass, at least not coming to pass in the period when you are away from God.

You will start to see your promises coming to pass bit by bit when you are in the PRESENCE OF GOD.

Deciding for yourself today to be the pillar in the house of God, just like being part of the body of Christ that no one can live without.

Things get out of hands?

2008-05-02T00:18:00.000+08:00

Today was talking to a long-time church plus net friend, Andrew.

It seemed like a gal has been using his nick Androne to post nasty tag in his friend's blog.

Today he linked me back but warned me against the gal.

The gal caused people to go his blog and accused CHC for being a "cult".

At first I was thinking of checking out this gal through msn but in the end, I forgot about it for this girl got too many msn addresses.

Created them to go pestered my friend.

Reminded me of an old time incident.

Things gonna out of hands and all my friend can do is to ask people removed his link or to ban the gal.

Anyone of you guys out there if ever see someone with the nick Androne in my tag, please kindly don't think it is my friend.

Awaiting a fulfilling day

2008-05-01T00:55:00.000+08:00

Thanks God for holiday.

Because of holiday, I can stay up late to...

Copy my 4 months worth of CG and Svc sermons, do my bible reading for Exodus, Mark and Luke, to tidy my room and also to visit my aunt with my family and then to spend time with them for lunch and dinner tomorrow.

Seem busy, yet look fulfilling.

After dinner still can go visit a new friend.

These are the things I need to do, things that can't be afford to postpone.

And like what Pearly, Lexx and I agreed, we got to start the Spiritual-Filled Believers' book before we are crushed by it when the assignment been passed down for us.

I'm awaiting for a fulfilling day!

Giving No Excuses

2008-04-30T23:53:00.001+08:00

Today, I received so much, learned so much about being a leader.

Yes, I was never a good one, I might even called myself an untrained and lousy one,
with the ability to integrate new friends for zone members, yet bad at integrate friends in own CG.

But as I learned the attitudes of a good leader, I start to realize, my group is where it is not because of the sheeps, but because I has been back to my usual excuse-giving self.

People warned me about this. Leaders warned me about this. They told me how I will grow once this habit of mine is away from me.

Yea, when I didn't guard my heart carefully and let down my guard, I slowly start giving excuses to everything in life.

From family, to school, to work and ultimately to ministry.

Yet in the end, I realized, it is up to me to overcome this weakness of mine.

For God said, "greatest is he who is in Me."

Only with Christ, can I become what He want me to be.

The devils seek to destroy the vision of mine.

Yet, God's will always overcome the tricks of the devils.

I shall not be giving excuses, instead, learn to trust God and the Holy Spirit to move in my life.

I'm not perfect, neither are you who is now sitting in front of a computer reading my post.

Yet God make us perfect in His image.

Stop wasting time trying to give yourself excuses for something that fail to be done but rather give yourself encourage to continue with what you wanna do.

I failed before in the trap of excuses, yet my God reached out His hands and pulled me from the pit.

God can do the same for you.

Giving no excuses to the calling of God.

Start by listening and obeying the voice of God.

Allow Holy Spirit to move, and allow Him to do His mighty work.

Never allow excuses to convince you that you are not worthy of your calling.

Start by once again telling yourself that whatever is of God's will is my will for God know me better than I know myself.

Rev 3:12
He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name.

Be a pillar in the temple God (House of God) that allow the God to crave your name on it, than to be a carpet in the temple of God that is always be step upon and forgotten.

Victory in the hands of God's people

2008-04-29T23:02:00.002+08:00

Never really blogged about what I received today.

Yes, I said I face the attacks of devils yet I thanks my God for letting me see how strong I gonna become in the near future, or else the father of the world won't try to make my life miserable.

I once again saw the faith for leadership.

Faith for the things God is preparing me.

And faith to believe in seeing souls upon souls getting saved.

Yes, I know it is coming.

Thus I gonna hold strong to my faith.

For faith comes by hearing and hearing by the words of God.

My Abba said it, and He shall defeat all obstacles.

I fighting no more so that my Father can fight.

Visions of seeing the CG multiply once again, seeing myself becoming a PCGL and a CGL, seeing myself becoming a ZS and ultimately moving toward mission field.

Yes, I know all won't come to be in the easy way, but it is fun to see my feet step over Satan and crushed him totally.

The victory is in my hands!

Looking forward to another day

2008-04-29T22:21:00.003+08:00

Now is time to clear my bedroom once again.

Every single day, I clear a bit by a bit.

And yet my bedroom still a bit messy.

Remembered today was shifting a sofa, and my online kor said it sound tough.

=.="

It was really tough.

Not sound like, but really was tough.

Trying to figure which way to push the sofa into my room.

All because of some furnitures shifting at home, I gonna endured through this pain of shifting furnitures since my home only got my mum and I do to the tough job.

Can't imagine right?

2 super, extreme thin ladies can shift a big furniture.

But we are trained!

Since dad only will be home after midnight.

Now official changed my hp no to the latest one.

Terminated my old hp line.

Finally I got a line that is under my name!

Well, bad things happened yet later good things shall win over it.

Now looking ahead, whatever I lost, my Abba Father will give me back a hundred fold, sixty fold and a thirty fold.

The pain of losing headphone, and having my desktop clashed had dulled.

Tomorrow is another brighter day.

Plus!

I got a new blogskin!

Nice right?

Wahahaha...

Warfare time!

2008-04-29T17:06:00.000+08:00

Now think of it, I discovered, devils started to hate me even more.

Just now lost my headphone. Now just knew that my aunt has a stroke a few days back.

Then after knowing the news, my house desktop broke down just when I wanted to transfer some important document to my new laptop.

I mean, can today get any worsen?

Now I hate the devils and want it to be cast out even faster!

I mean come on, think I a coward?

Devils, you must really think twice before provoking me.

For someone who dreamed to be vigorous in the Spirit, now you the father of this world, really provoked me.

Now I has my spiritual temper!

Against the devils!

Cast out the devils!

Seek to destroy me?

Wait thousands of years you also can't succeed.

Now I gonna pray and pray for this season of warfare.

The victory is in my Lord and now?

I gonna claimed it.

I'm the Child of God.

I'm the heir of my Father.

Now I gonna win this warfare. And ensure victory over my life!

Claiming it in the name of my Lord!

NYP Fellowship

2008-04-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

After experiencing God so much, now come to the funny part when we all gathered for fellowship.

1st part, we got Mark, Eugene, Rickson, Vincent, Honey and me.

Honey and I was laughing at some inner women jokes about the different between how guys and gals perception is different.

While the guys, Rickson and Mark, Eugene and Vincent were each sitting at one table and Honey and I was laughing at how the guys who dyed hair and didn't dye hair sat together. Like one of a kind. =.=

And the most funny part came when Rickson trying to explain his own parable of Old testament and New Testament in his life. I mean I knew about the Old testament and the way he trying to put it but then I shouldn't misinterpret the New Testament right since he should be referring to his new season in SOT and moving on from the past. But he insisted that I didn't get it so never mind, I told Carrisa, I will get it one way or another.

Then after 30 minutes of prayer walk, we gathered once again for discussion.

Then we entered into part 2 of the fellowship session.

This time, got Honey, Carrisa, me, Eugene, Mark and Oliver.

So basically now is Eugene and Honey's turn to be lamers. Then Carrisa also being funny, telling us about Nursing theories.

But the last part, after leaving the place, finally Mark explained to me the Rickson's parable. I mean just like what I said, so I didn't really guess wrongly, but they just didn't get my theology way of explaining the parable. So I'm not that dense as I thought I am.

Never mind, I had my fun today.

Let us moving forward to a higher ground together!

Moving on to a Higher Ground

2008-04-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Today, I was once again asking God what exactly He wanna me to go for.

So unsure at this moment.

Waiting for an answer and like I mentioned last night, I wanting so much to seek Him, in the end, I was so sleepy that I read the bible till I fall asleep.

Yet after attending Pastor Aries' Home Cell Group Leadership Class, I start to understanding the meaning of being a leader.

And it all started out with prayers.

Pray for the needs, be there for those that need me, and also to build a relationship with the people.

It is so simple.

Now I told myself...

It is a new me I going for.

One who covered all pasts and moving forward.

One who blocked out all hurts and moving forward.

One who looking forward to the mighty hands of God.

After sharing with Carrisa last night of what causing me to be down, suddenly I forget what had caused me to be upset in the first place. Like what Pastor Aries mentioned, sometime is it not about the counsel but about having someone who listen.

After receiving, all I knew now is praying, praying and praying. For everything started once we have an connection to the God who give us strength.

Really thanks God for a higher level He going to bring me to.

After prayer walk in the school and doing my usual favorite, walking around the field, I looked to the sky once again and was reminded of the first vision He ever gave me when I was going to NYP.

Bringing REVIVAL to NYP!

Remembering the times when I forgotten about it and decided to come back to NYP cluster and I asked God once more, is that Your will for me.

Deciding between youth campus revival and NYP revival, I asked God, is it ever possible.

And the Lord spoke, "with Me all things are possible. You can have both revival as long as you pray and seek My face."

Ideas start coming to me, one after another. I raised it up to Rickson, Eugene they all and really, I felt as we go about putting all of the ideas of everyone, all things are possible, for to each individual, the Lord revealed different things and as we come together as one body in Christ, we shall conquer the land for God.

Yes, we are all moving toward a higher ground.

A ground with a higher vision and calling.

Gone is the past glories and ahead of us is a brand new chapter.

Let mark it well, mark it different.

Staying awake for the whole night

2008-04-27T21:32:00.000+08:00

Planning to read through my bible but haven't do so.

Why?

Because I looking through Five-Fold ministry book.

Trying to fill in as much blanks as possible, so that when the time come for bible study, I will be able to write even more notes with lesser time.

Don't plan to sleep.

Has been resting here and there.

Think is enough to make up for the sleeping hours tonight.

Since today is the day where my whole day belong to God.

Sabbath day, Sabbath day.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be even alive then ever.

I am excited for the remainder bible study.

So much to do now.

Bible reading, seeking God, and also to start doing some assignments before it pour out on me.

I wanna so much to know what is going to happen as I am tally at this moment between my visions and Cell Group.

It keep on coming back to me.

Should I pursuit further theology study first before work?

Or work for the fees before study?

For only a financial breakthrough can allow me to go for theology study.

Now the urge is coming back to me.

As I gone through five-fold ministry.

Miss those times when I dwelled in theology for hours and never get tired.

Miss those times when I go do research just to know more about God.

Now I going back to those days whereby no matter how much I study, it is still not enough.

Now I going back to those days whereby no matter how much I get in touch with God, it is still not enough.

It should be like this for the rest of my life.

Excitement stirred within these dry bones of mine.

Fill me Lord.

Fill me...

Child-like Faith

2008-04-27T18:09:00.000+08:00

Suddenly felt so ignorant.

Seem like all my knowledges suddenly disappeared.

Gone is the past me.

I never felt this ignorant before.

Once again, I going to regain that child-like faith of mine.

Sleep well to expand your life span...

2008-04-27T12:42:00.001+08:00

I remembered Pastor Tan once said, sleep an average of 6-8 hours ensure we lived a longer lives and during those times, I told myself, unless in future I died for the cause of Jesus, I will live long to fulfill His visions, I don't wanna to do things just because all people do so, but I wanna do things according to what God want.

I thought of living longer as I getting to know God, I started to try to cut down bad habits, like eating instant noodles often, eating too much deep fried food and try to eat more vegetables. I think I at least gotten a breakthrough in the area of vegetables. If you ever know me when I was a young child, I was one who spilled out any vegetables that tried to sneak in my food, either was there because outside food got them or my mum tried to force me to eat.

Now, I eat more healthily, beside fasting, the rest of the time, I will eat proper small meals since I still got slight gastric once awhile ever since the episode with serious stomach flu. (Nearly gotten hospitalise after gotten myself 2 injections to prevent vomitting).

To think back, everyone got their own view on how many hours to sleep but for me, I would insist sleeping 5-6 hours, then the remainder day, I can spend time studying, ministry and other things. I got a long life to live for God, especially in term of ministry and I want to ensure my life is healthy for now on as it is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Gone is the days when I would only seek to satisfy myself and my stomach and body.

Start thinking of the great things you can do and stop thinking of just how much you wanna to maximize your time cause even if you maximize your daily time, think of how you shorten your life span by not a year but many years. Think of how these many years can really use for? They can use for expanding of God's kingdom, ministry and family.

Finding, searching, seeking

2008-04-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

I finding, searching, seeking for a place to go to.

God placed me at a place for a season of moulding...

After this, where will I be?

Will I leave the place I'm at and move on to a higher ground with God?

I pray so.

For where I'm at now is not where I feel I will be forever.

God, direct me according to Your will.

I need Your direction...

Blogging madness

2008-04-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

Wow, today I blogged so much.

Many might not know, but I'm ne who love to blog and no matter how busy with life, beside gaming in the past, I will blog as much as I got something to proclaim or share.

Nowaday after so long never blog, I felt that I has gone rusty.

Rusty in my typing skill.

Rusty in earning the eyes of my readers.

Many might not know, I am also one who love to spend time with friends if I am ever with them. I will try ways and excuses to spend more time with them and even though sometime I wanna be back home and rest, as long as I met a friend, I will enjoy getting to know them and enjoying their presence. So there are moment, friends gotten touched and wondered, how come I can afford travel all the way with them to their workplace even if my house is at the another end of SG and all I could say is I wanna spend more time. Sometime, I would just say I'm free and nothing to do when I'm in a stage of tireness but I enjoying fellowship whenever I can get cause I not one who often meet up with friends.

Today enjoyed fellowship with a sister and a brother has been teasing her and asking her to open her eyes wider and looked at the guy in front of her => the brother. We are talking about relationships and how we are to open our heart for God to do His work and then I kept on pointing her to the brother. They were like "are you crazy". I mean it was funny. The brother is already considered suitable age to find a wife and he always bullied me but then he treated me like a young child and he is what I considered a gentle kind of brother. The sister is a few years older but she got this hidden geng-ho characters within her that our vice-team leader asked her to tone down but then it just come to me that she should open her eyes bigger.

Now looking back to team 9, I'm the 3rd youngest yet I seemed to be under their protection. I got many big sisters and brothers, people who shared with me how they came so far, and I get to slowly know more people from other country. To think of it now, I'm truly blessed by the Lord and fulfilled what He said to me, to know different people of different nations for one day I would find them in their hometown and they shall be my friends.

Now I left with a friend who haven't come SOT and go Korea to merge them. I will start to pray once again. Cause I really wanna to stay at a friend's house in Korea and if he never married, I never gonna get a place there cause he won't be building a house there. Muhahaha... I smart, know where to get house to fellowship in future.

Well, just random blogging.

Now it's time to sleep.

Tomorrow got CG and service then still rushing back to expo to collect my lost-found book, attending youth helpers meeting, then meet Victor to settle some stuffs. What a pack day I gonna has. God give me strength wo.

With God in His Sancturary

2008-04-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

Today isw still doing my bible reading. Deciding to start off with old testament. So glad I read it for the story of Abraham, Isacc, Jacob and Jospeh impacted me once again. Reading different translation really bring different revelations.

Suddenly, while I reading some chapters in Genesis, I was being remind of what Kenrus once said when we were fellowshipping.

"I rather has nothing not even ministry is God is all that I can has."

True to say, in this world, we are building God's kingdom, God's ministry but many often only build ministry because they want to have a ministry.

And often we mislooked the Blesser, the Giver.

What if we don't have a ministry?

Will we stop loving God?

I told myself after it came to my mind that, it is always God first, other second. And that included future spouse.

It came hard on me that time is running out.

Yes, I shall one day see God in heaven but before the actually meeting, I should already know God by heart for my heart should be the Sancturary of the Holy Spirit. The place where I keep it pure and sanctify for God.

I wanna come into the Holy of Holies everyday, enjoying His presence and stay with Him in the Sancturary. My life on earth is short, while I working toward the calling of God, I should also build a strong bond and relationship with God so that one day when I go to heaven, I won't be asking Him dense question as in "why there is a tabernacle in heaven".

Now is time for more bible reading.

More revelations, more of His presence.

I wanna make my room into God's Sancturary.

Encounters from the Heavenly...

2008-04-25T22:59:00.001+08:00

In my 3 and a half years walk with Jesus. I will never forget all those encounters that I had with Him and continued to have in Him in the Holy of Holies. It is unlike outer court and Holy Place.

Today, as Jesus once again came to me and showed me His pierced hands, I was once again reminded that He didn't just died for the whole world but died for me, for who I really am, for my soul and spirit. I weeped and Jesus once again asked me, "Do I love Him?"

Many times like this, like what Peter encountered and as I pondered and answered back, my conviction grew stronger for Him once again. My heart is strengthened and all God said is put aside all thought and dedicated my whole life back to Him again. To serve and run for His vision for all my life till the day I meet Him in heaven.

He planted me like the tree by the river of living water, roots deeply rooted and accessing to the river water. The tree flourished like never before because of the access to the living water and I want to be just like that, never dry up, never died off, just alive and flourish forever and ever for God.

He promised me, not just a ministry, visions and dreams. But He promised His everlasting love.

It is something amazing. Nothing in return, just His love.

God, more encounters. I wanna go back to the time when You showed me glimpse of heaven and a glimpse of You. I wanna be like Moses, pursued after the face of God. It is something special, something lovely.

Mountain-climber

2008-04-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

I has never been so emotions for the past 20 years of my life yet knowing Jesus is what that broke the walls with me to feel Him and start to love Him.

Entering into SOT is a desire that has always been within me ever since I first seemed Cliff entering into SOT. After Cliff went through the 10 months period, he came out a different Cliff. More anointing, more presence of God.

Following year in 2006, Cindy entered into SOT. She transformed and be sure of her calling into leadership, giving up her make-up ministry, she turned to CG and the journey not easy, as not much people understood her that include me in the past. Yet I saw how she single-handedly grow the CG to 40 people and ultimately we multiplied with a core of 15 members.

The journey with her is not an easy. 2007, no one is in SOT and Cindy was so excited for me when I told her I wanna go SOT still even if the course period had changed. It was not easy for people told me that it seem too short-change and 2009, we might be back to 10 months course and many confirmed that it is going to resume to 10 months course, thus I once pondered, should I go or should I not.

In the end, amidst all of the oppositions, I entered into SOT and just like what God has said, I got to save up the school fees myself through the opportunity He given to me. So I saved with all my might and finally I gotten enough.

In the process, I gave up buying a new hp and laptop for to me, if I wanna see what God has installed for me, I gonna go for what He called me to do even if no one like what I doing.

In the end, with a request to my mum like the time I chose to went through water baptism, I got her to let me go for it.

Personal blessings came when I gotten a hp and laptop eventually. And I know for sure, put first the kingdom of God and all that you desirem He shall give to you.

My prayer never fall onto unfruitful ground, and though today only an area I still waiting for my prayer to be answered but after tally for 4 years, like what Cliff once prayed, the tally moment with God will never be forgotten, for all the lost moment shall be make up by God.

Cause God do His work and we yield to Him to trust in Him.

It is a hard-pressed process and a breaking apart process.

It has already begin the 1st part...

Now I wondered what God has installed for me.

We will always has our valley of death experience and I shall endure it through untill I pass this current situation.

A leader once prayed that I shall climbed many mountains. Spiritually it must be tiring cause physically, our spirit got tired out when we climb many mountains but just likw physically we need water to replenish outselves, spiritually, I need Holy Spirit to replenish me. Like the tree planted by the river, I shall never thirst for He fulfill all thirst and hunger.

Now is another mountain-climbing experience with God.

God, make me a strong mountain-climber.

True love from Heaven

2008-04-24T16:26:00.003+08:00

Today, as I read through the blog of a friend, I came across this video. Nearly cried as I listened to the story. It was so innocent, so touching. A child really is sincere and simple. In term to connecting to God and seeking for Him. How I wish I'm still a little child. Yet I know, I got to remain a child-like faith.

Slow down your pace, take your time to watch the video. You will find your life changed.

Flowing with God...

2008-04-24T12:08:00.000+08:00

Now I gotten a bit relaxed because after a few funny incidents, I learnt to control my dramatic shocking expression.

A few days back, gonna scared by Joel, you can say, I never get scared by a guy but him!

I only saw a cockroach then I accidently screamed cause my fear mechanism stirred up then Joel who walked beside me yelled even louder for he thought what happened to me then I stared at him, calmed myself and laughed till stomach pain. In my whole life, beside in my course, I never heard of a guy screamed because of a scream of girl. Truly a super gentle brother we all agreed. Then up till now, he tried to scare me again (like what kids do to one another) but I prayed with all my might that no cockroach will appear then in coffeeshop today, Dorcus said at night, the close part of the coffeeshop got rats running around and all my hair stands.

I hate cockroack, hate insects, hate rats but I love hamster.

Today my mum saw my hamster gotten stucked at the hole of the self-make bathtub. I was so afraid for him cause it is not the first time he gotten stucked. so I quickly asked for him and rescued him in time. Poor hammy gonna leave me soon. Getting old. Still remember the day when Jun Jie passed the 2 hammies to me. I gotten so scared when Cliff grabbed one of my hamster and trying to push it down the stairs. Just because he was upset with the prank we put upp without him knowing. Then plus Casandra always has an evil plot toward my hamster. Wanna to squeeze him to death. Never will I let anyone get close to my hamster unless I sure I can trust them. Not to forget when I throw away the mate of my current hamster after she died in the hands of my hammy. What an accident. Now thinking back, I learn to love this cruel one and take good care of him while his mate went back to soil.

But then after that, I gotten my few shocking experience with God and a few other people. It took what Pastor Ming shared out of the blue to convince me of what I was so determined to brush it off.

Valerie said to flow with God...

God is so mysterious sometime. At least I now know what I want.

Now I going forward to this visions once again.

Chatted with Elaine after such a long time. Ever since she gotten married, I never got the chance to talk to her. She asked me what I'm going to do after SOT and I still pondering should I considered marketplace or full-time cause I know sooner or later I will still go full-time but what about the current situations?

Then all I can say is wait for God to show me. Cause even though 4 months is short but God can do His mighty works.

I put aside myself from now on and moving once again.

Pearly once said, our life is no longer our own ever since we are born cause we are already tied to our parents by blood. And it ccame to me in a revelation that our life after salvation is no longer our own and our parents but it's belong to Jesus for we are tied in the spirit to Him.

I'm now tied with the Lord and to flow with Him doesn't seem so hard now.

I already start to talk even deeper in this journey.

Now I just got to pluck in deeper and deeper.

To move with the Holy Spirit.

Gifts and talents He had given to me.

But attitudes and altitudes got to be build up and changed when our life is transformed through God.

Listen the world out there...

The Shi Min you known will be the Evangeline you known from 4 months from now.

God has given me a new name then I shall use it.

Evangeline, Evangelist?

I'm not sure if Evangelist what I called for.

But I know I am to be a missionary in the near future.

Got to flow with God.

Got to move with Him.

Only when I pray then He will move.

Prayer warriors rised up...

Trusting Him in Faith

2008-04-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

I need to pray more, plug in more into the presence of God.

Like a Pastor once said, the greatest blessing in life is to have a friend who walk through the life journey with you ande support you in time of needs.

People in some parts of their life, find great friends to be with them and share.

I once got many great friends, but as I entered into a new phrase of life, I disconnected from them and as I know God, God become a Friend who is irreplacible.

Yet, as I heard of Pastor talking about praying for a friend a few days back, I was thinking, is it really possible? For many never has it, except their life partner but I want a good galfriend who can go out and eat, go out and share, go out and talk, and sharing our spiritual encounters and be one who beside my mentors and disciplers, can stand by me and walk with me to believing in my vision to come.

I got great dreams, great visions, but when I was young, I thought by just God and I, I can fulfill it and I got no double yet I know, as I walk further with Him, just me alone is not enough. I need a friend who will always be with me, a life long friend.

I once had a conversation with my dearest friend when I was a baby christian.

We were out there eating and we thought of our future.

We thought of being old in age yet still out there meeting one another and eating.

And we thought of what if we never marry, and only got a dog as companion and how enjoyable life will be when the 2 of us go out together with our dogs and thought back to those wonderful things as friend.

Yes, we still friends now, but we each busy with our life.

With different goals in life, we drawn apart.

With different beliefs, we become further apart and I know, that not what God want.

This period of SOT, what will happen to me?

Will I be so different that the Evangeline/Shi Min that people know now, will be a different Evangeline/Shi Min 5 months from now?

What will happen in this 5 months?

I am excited at this moment yet tell myself not to think a lot.

I has been waiting to enter into SOT and I did it.

Now?

I can only trusting God in faith, not only in my finance area, but in the area of fulfilling my calling.

The calling to see many come to Him.

The calling to dump aside my fears and go all around the world for Him.

Maybe since young, when my mum refused to bring me to overseas is to let me carry this desire to go all around the world.

Like Peter, an uneducated fisherman, who never see the world outside before the ascending of the Holy Spirit, preached to people of different languages, though he never travel much, but he answered the call of God.

Now, I'm not Peter, but I always wanna to be the fool that God used to shame the wise, rather be the one who God never wanna use.

There are many areas that I need to be broken toward God.

There are many pressures that overwhelming but by the trust in Him...

Ther remainder 4 months, I can only trust in Him for His greater works inside of me.

Not only to pray for a friend but more of Him day after day.

God, let me survived through this trials of fire, for I know when I'm out of this, I will be a refining potter, uses for Your calling.

The faith to move on is found in Christ Jesus.

And trust in Him is all that I can do.

Arising faith

2008-04-22T00:38:00.000+08:00

Nowaday, wherever I started a new entry. The 1st thing I would say, how long has I stopped blogging?

I don't remember and I even lost count.

But one thing I know, the past 3 weeks, has been the start of something even more wonderful.

Being blessed by the ministrying of God, rebuilding my faith to move forward, understanding God is truely my Abba Father, being blessed with a alptop and handphone as what God promised He will give, my life slowly taking it turns.

We all gone through period of difficulties, trials and tribulations.

And everytimes, my mentors and friends always said, with higher level come higher devil, either you make it or you are destroyed by the him.

I haven't see the fullness of the blessing of God but as everyday I overcoming myself, learning to pick up myself and move forward, relying on God to fulfill what He called me to do in this period of testing, I realised God is even more real than any other time.

He called me His beloved, giving me faith day after cday to move on from past mistakes, past hurts, past disappointments and broken friendships.

Revealing and renewing my visions day after day.

I remembered last week, as Pastor Zhuang asked us to minister and prophesied, I started to learn to rely on God.

As in it was planned by God, 4 times I ministered, all 4 times I was the 1st one to minister my partners who I never know or even never see.

3 of the times, I ministered and someone cried, 2 gotten encouraged and my faith arised. When Pastor Zhuang asked for volunteers to minister, along with 10 over brothers and sisters, I ran and took my place for I told God, gone is the fal who inside of her fear to minister. Now is the gal who want to exercise the gift of God and used it for His will.

But 1st of all, I got to exercise it for whatever we often use, we should get stronger.

We were asked to close our eyes and had random people being placed in front of us. As Pastor Zhuang asked us to minister, the one in front of me start crying, and I thought it was a brother. I was so tempting to say "him" but something told me not too. When I prayed and opened my eyes, a sister was standing in front of me, with tears in her eyes and she smiled. Oh my, I guessed wrongly but by faith, I ministered.

And so many days, I was being ministered again and again by God.

And there was a time before Dr Kim's meeting that I was praying and God assured me that as I take care of His sheeps, I will see my cell group grow once again. How many has He assured me He will take care of His sheeps even when they are lost? I has lost count. But I told myself to reach further. More more more so that vI can have more faith in the things to come and for those that are in my heart.

As we finished prayer, I broke down in tears and was amazed by the grace and love of God.

As I told God how good He is, He said in a teasing manner that "if I am not good to God, how can I be your Father? If you parents on earth can love you, what more I can't do for you?"

I know and I know, my God is truely a God that is so real to me. All the times when I came back to God, I had been finding Him waiting and smiling at me as I reached out toward Him.

All the times as I climbed up the mountains of my life, I found Him waiting at the another side of the mountain, smiling and awaiting me to become stronger.

Yes, the another side of God's promise I haven't seen, yet I know He will do His part as I start doing my part.

We all will face moments of times when we are down but it is the strength to pick ourselves up that make a different.

I learnt to pick myself up again and again.

And to think, many thought I'm strong.

Hehehe, if you ever wonder what make me strong?

Only an answer, God make me strong.

He renew my strength and faith day after day.

When no one with me, I know I can trust in Him for He will assured my path.

Only Him got the power and authority to change the world for us.

The world mean the world.

God, let us continue to walk this journey together.

As I learn to be stronger.

Learn to love Your sheeps with a passion.

Learn to guide Your sheeps.

Learn to love everyone around me.

Learn to dwell in Your hidding place.

Learn to trust in You for all promises.

And learn to walk in faith all the days of my life.

I had been tally and as I tally, greater works I shall do.

For faith shall arise like a mustard seed.

Remember, I'm not the one who have strength, but my strength shall be in God.

Moving forward, by placing my faith in the Lord

2008-03-31T23:06:00.003+08:00

Moving forward, it had been many weeks since I last blogged.

Laziness gripped my heart.

Yet today after attending Christian Lifestyle by Bro Bobby, my whole perspective of God took a 180 degrees turn.

New revelations plus new friends plus spiritual fellowship allowed me to see into the lives of the people who sacrificed and trust in the Lord for His provision.

We all came from different backgrounds, different churches, different cultures, different skin colours but the presence of God was tremendous.

Our differences didnt separate us from connecting to God, but it allowed us to get close to God even closer.

Through the ministering sessions and practising what we were taught in Christian Lifestyle, we gave thanks to God, praise Him and worship Him.

It is really by placing my faith in God that I am at where I am.

I really glad I joined SOT this year.

Without ORD cert which the previous years had been getting, I still glad that I am here.

God, show Your power among us.

Bring us deeper into where You want us to be.

Let us be more and more hungry and thristy for You every single day of my life.

Moving forward, I found a whole new reason to love God even more.

By placing my trust and faith in Him.

To believe in the miraculous.

A long wait...

2008-03-16T00:34:00.002+08:00

Really, I don't know what to say. My last entry was so long ago on the Feb 19th. Now I'm and alive. I know, I know... It had been a long way but I just got to think through life and find things to do and rest.

Who knows how God can work.

Through a game, I got to know a 26 years old girl who I can get close to and invite for easter.

Who knows, a mur brother who I can't seem him as a faithful Christian taught me the way of reaching out through organised outing and reached out even if we don't know the friends or even each other well.

Who knows what I wanna achieved except God.

I wanna do the best for now even if my physical body is lazy and weak.

Just receiving my full results of the past 3 years and though there might be regrets yet I glad God make me go through what He had called me to go for.

Not a fantastic results but enough to pass.

And after this, I received a sms to meet Yilun for SOT interview. It was so sudden but it brought out what I wanna said from my heart in a natural way.

God is still amazing and wonderful.

I talked to one of my member's friend who at first seem to be rejecting my approach but as I took the step of faith to press in, she accepted me and when she stepped into the hall, she cried.

God is amazing and I sensed His power moving.

Yes, time is precious now I still moving to do what He called me to do.

Yes, I facing new challenges everyday but I wanna overcomes them by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I don't have riches, don't have the world.

But I got a God who is greater than anything of this natural world.

Who shall guide me and prosper me.

Yes, I believe.

Be with me Lord.

Show me the ways You see things.

And guide me through the ways of life.

Movies Fanatic!!!

2008-02-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

So long never blog...

I know I know...

Spiderweb all over this place.

But 1st thing I wanna to yell out today that from the last day of my attahment till today, it had been such a movies fanatic period for me.

On 1st Feb, watched Sweeney Todd with my attachment staffs who paid for my ticket, treated me and my attachment friends to a thai restaurant and drove us around, it was fun in a way though my energy ran out and I was on the verge of falling sick yet I thanks God for the treat.

On the 1st night of New Year, was sick yet in the end went out with Jess and some friends from Zone to watch Kung Fu Dunk. Couldn't imagine that Jay Chou was acting cute in the show yet in the end, though disappointed that as usual, was a typical eastern movie yet at least I watched it.

Last wed, watched Ah Long Pte Ltd with Cindy and Jolene. Was so mur all the ways but funny nonetheless. At least I watched it... Haha

Today!!! I watched JUMPER with Val. She treated me as a Pre-SOT gift. Wow... What can I said about the movie? It is the best movie I ever watched so far. The jumping scene was so cool. And the romance was so O.o... We were like... ooo so fast jumped into bed... Just like how the main character jumped so fast around the world. The fighting scene also not bad, animation was nice. It worth the money.

Next month gonna has Spiderwick Chronicle, looks interesting. Maybe I should go watch it? Made me thought of Chronicles of Nadia.

I hoped to post some pics but I can't find much pics beside Sweeney Todd so here it is...

So many wonderful movies coming out soon. Hope I can watch some of them in threatre.

Key to the power of Victories!

2008-02-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

Going through the valley of the shadow of death is not easy.

Struggles, doubts, mistrust, tons of tons of unpleasant memories and things resurface and staring back at you.

It was the most heart pain moment.

You know you do something wrong, yet you refused to acknowledge.

That is the worst part.

We all gone through moments like this espcially when it is your own life.

We taught others but often in times, our life is at stake for we can't bear to part with our secret desires.

It came to the point when everythings so overwhelmed and you know you come to the point when nothing of the wrong interest you except to find a way back to God.

Devils are evil, yet forbidden fruits are always the sweetest.

Temporary pleasant brings nothing but pain at the end, yet the sweetest moment at the moment of tasting the fruit is the most unavoidable.

Yet at the end of it, you got nothing to gain but everythings to lose.

Tireness will set in.

Doubts and a sense of lostness will set in.

It is time to get back at the god of this age.

Get up His children!

We are called to carry the victories and shows it to the face of the devils...

We got to key and we got to use the key!

I holding it and now I wanna to use it and releasing the power behind the door.

It's time..

Last day of memories...

2008-02-02T00:17:00.000+08:00

Last day of attachment...

YES!

Finally I finished this walk.

Yes, there were tears from walking this road.

Tears of sadness when people don't appreciate the things that you done.

Tears of stress when I faced difficult situations and was on the verge of breaking down.

Tears of departure when the fellow collegues brought the 2 students and me out for a half day fun after our attachment and treated us to movie, dinner at Indo Resturant and drive us from Orchard to Holland V till mrt station.

Yes, it wasn't an easy journey. Only one of the student is going back to the place to work. The other choose elsewhere and for me, though I planned my future yet situations trying to steal my future away.

Stress from every corners to think of where I should go now and for now, a good holiday is what I deserved to have.

To regain that love and joy in the Lord.

I lose so much when I thought back to this journey.

Lost the chance to do well in study.

Lost the chance to fully make use of the working environment to know the fellow collegues like what I did now.

I felt so sad when I said goodbye to my preceptor and the collegues after our gathering.

We were surprised when the most unthinkable preceptor suggested to bring us out and treated us.

And after everythings, the feeling of being back to school was so much different.

A mixture of feelings overwhelmed me.

Now I thought back, it wasn't worth my time to be depressed over choosing this course when I couldn't get into my favourite business course.

Cause even though I at first really hated the things I need to do, yet I didn't manage too fulfill what I wanna to fulfill.

Yet my mum supported me.

Last day of memories...

Now thinking back, I should move on.

To once again trust in God.

To once again believe in God.

And to once again love God.

Precious...

My Precious.

You are my Precious...

Finally 20th...

2008-01-27T00:52:00.000+08:00

I believed I can hear the shouts of friends asking... "are you on blog fast?", ""are you being busy?", "where has you been nowaday?", "are you blog dying?".

Sorry friends for this long hiatus. I'm back and perfectly alive. I passing through my attachment and I could say that Jan was a tiring but happening month for me.

Ffrom taking care of Gabriel and Poh's father 3 months ago during my attachment, I never imagined that this time, God placed me in the situation whereby I would have the chance to take care of a mediacrop artist.

Never would I imagined that I will be so blur, opened up the curtain, went to his bed and stared at the person (before I found out that he is a famous artist from mediacorp) while trying to find out why this weird person carried one big travel bag and closed up his curtain. When I found out who he is, I was stunned but nonetheless, should thanks God my staff nurse wanna take care of him personally and asked me to rest for the night. Yet she dragged me to give him medication and the funniest thing was I found out of his phobia for blood because I accidently opened a wrong plug and blood flowing out. I calmly finished my work while the nurses that stood around there stared at me. But nonetheless, I smiled sheeply at them.

When Cindy heard of it, she told me that she was his fan and asked me to take photo with him, so funny, and really too bad I couldn't cause his face was so swollen due to the surgery.

And after which, I prayed for peaceful days and God did what I asked Him to do.

Looking back, I might well be the only one CHC members that able to come for CG and services every week for 12 weeks of posting. Really thanks God for using me to be the front line for all those CHC-harvesters who will be going for their attachment soon.

Encouragement, prayers... That what keep me going. Remembrance of who I am in God, leaving behind the sinful nature and relying on God, it isn't easy at first but I survived.

Now I passed my posting and next week is going to be my last four days. One of the faciliator from our side suggested for the 3 of us (students) and those staffs that we worked with to go out together after our last duty. They are bringing us for movie, and dinner and supper and high chance is, they might also treat us for my funny faciliator asked the one who suggested the outing whether he will treat her and he said she is already a staff nurse, not student, don't need to have a treat but we are different... And I couldn't help but laugh...

I was tired out at moment but at the end of the day, after my complaint and everythings, I see that they really enjoyed our presence. Been called the best batch to ever been to their area is a great comfort.

This month is also marked the end of my 19th years of living on earth. I now passed the 20 marking with happiness, joy and tears.

Happiness come from those precious gifts that I had received.

Thanks E457 for getting me those books on leadership.

Yes, you guys pranked me. Casandra acted as the emotional helper who msned me on fri night at 12mn, just reached my birthday and started to tell me about how sad she was from the scolcing of her mum and etc and etc and I already suspected that it was a prank but just in case, I msned Eleanore who is in helpers' training to doubt confirm. And Eleanore urged me to try to talk to her in case it was not a prank but just like the warning of God... It is a prank. And it didn't end here. I tried to peek into Jolene's bag but I was unsuccessful. I was quite sad the day before for Jun Jie told me that he smsed everyone to message me but they sound so boring and I was soo sad... And then everyone looked so distant away and with Casandra who seemed not to do well, my heart became even heavier... And I vowed to myself that if it is a prank, I gonna have some personal discipleship with Casandra. Then Elijah tried to give a super diao testimony but thanking his cabinet for having cans of sardin fish and bread but it seemed normal to me till Cindy pointed it out and started to talk about "diao" testiimony.

Ultimately, it all ended up as a prank as Zhong Ping, Yan Ran, Shi Yi and Bryan appeared after rejected my calls. I thought Bryan didn't come service and was really to teach him about discipline when it was shown up as a prank. And the present I received was wrapped with layer after layer of newspaper. I told myself not to do this kind of things anymore for I reap what I sow.

Thanks NYP-Harvesters... Val and Carrisa got me a tinkerbelle neckacle. I reminded of the time when I really loved to watch Peter Pan's show. He was one of my old-time favourite hero. And tinkerbelle is so cute. Thanks everyone.

Thanks Ariefin for the Christmas cum birthday gift. Simple yet nice design.

Thanks Edmund for the book and CD. Last year was only a book but this year with a CD, the one I told God about. Wow, God really answered prayer.

Thanks all the friends who smsed and called me. I really blessed to know you guys!

Joy came from the heart...

I starting to have the tradition of gathering my friends to get to know them better and to have some quality time for fellowship.

I never imagined how willing they were to join me. Last sun was a great time at Mind Cafe. I really enjoyed it. Haha... Really...

And being with the CG and receiving their blessing for a greater calling is also my greatest moment.

And to all those friends who remember my birthday.

I'm not the best friend I do admit, always forgetting this and that, birthdays to me is a joyful season yet I forget others and also mine many many times. I wanna get to remember everyone's birthday...

Thanks those friends who still remember mine even though I don't really remember theirs. I will try my best to note it down.

And I do appreciate my friends for remembering my birthday.

Tears came from both happiness and joy...

I nearly cried when my CG showed me with their presents and revealed the prank. I kept so many stuffs inside of me and when it was proven to be a prank, my heart released and I teared.

I really loves everyone!

But most of all, I loves God!

Thanks for answering my prayers and gave me a memorable borthday yet again.

I'm finally 20th.

5 more days before I ended my attachment.

2 and a half month to go before I graduate.

A new season is come.

I waiting for the remainder promises of God.

Destiny

2008-01-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

Often in life, I always thought that whatever things I felt is the right thing to do, I shall do it.

Many of the times, I never stop to think is it my own liking or it is God's plan for me.

Sharing is what I love to do.

Regardless is it my own preferance or own conviction.

I am now convinced...

Beside following the leading of God, I got no way to run or hide.

Be rebellion is one thing that is always losing out to God.

For God break down all walls.

Truly, never think you can win against Him.

The Lord Almighty.

I now surrendered, in search of a fullest life with You...

With You is the way I should be.

Doubting is out of the window.

Out of the mind.

Only with You...

Can my life be different.

Only with You...

Can I be sure of the way for me.

I now make a start of my decision.

The rest is in the hand of God.

It is now or never.

It is the start of a destiny.

Moving Forward...

2008-01-06T20:17:00.000+08:00

Really heard a wonderful message from Pastor.

It was such a good beginning to start off this year.

It isn't a new message.

Yet we can't deny that though it was similar to what had been taught to us before...

But it is the beginning of another foundation that will move us forward.

FOCUS

I wondered...

How many of us, during this walk with God, has lost our focus?

I had lost it many times in one way or another.

Maybe it's because of rebellion, because of self-centerness, and refusal to listen and follow the voice of God and all the "what if" I don't do this or "what if" I don't do that that caused me to lead myself further away from that one calling...

Yet as I sat there...

Feeling tired physically, my spirit was awaken once again.

It is the time.

Not tomorrow, not next year...

It is TODAY! NOW!

Now is the time!

The time to move on.

A brand new year is waiting for me to have a head start.

Yes...

I gonna be a better person.

In both characters and attitudes.

It takes 2 hands to clap.

One is God's hand and one is my hand.

With God, all things are possible.

New Year Resolutions

2008-01-02T21:01:00.000+08:00

New Year had finally came and the day to Jesus' 2nd coming is so near.

But thinking of all these, one truth still stand, we are still on earth and we got many visions to fulfill.

New Year Resolutions

Visions

1. To complete my nursing course successfully.

2. To enter into SOT.

3. To multiply my CG.

4. To enter into leadership meeting.

5. To be in leadership class.

Spiritually

1. To be faithful in tithing and give the first fruit on time every month.

2. Fulfill building fund and never never think it is impossible to fulfill.

3. To finish my NIV bible within a year.

4. To grow closer with God.

5. Multiply my talents and to use it in the area of ministry.

6. More anointing and impartation from God.

7. More effective in ministering.

8. More passionate toward God, ministry and beloved ones.

9. More compassionate.

10. More patient and be more mild-temper.

11. Be faithful in quiet time and seeking God not when I need to but because I can't live without Him.

12. Gaining healings from God.

13. Spend more times with family.

14. Communicate with the loved ones around me.

15. Stop thinking unnecessary stuffs and focus on following the ways of God.

16. LASTLY! LOVE GOD TO THE MAX...

Physically

1. Reduce the amount of fast food I take every month from every week to monthly.

2. Stop taking more than 2 times of snack every day.

3. Stop taking instant noodles.

4. Learn to cook again. 1 year never actually cook, skill rusty already. Now is the time to start it again.

Leisure

1. GO TAIWAN after SOT!

One year is better than another. 2008 will be yet another exciting year for me.

Cheers!

Thanks God!

2007-12-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

Again and again, this Christmas had been a wonderful and blessful season for me.

I wondered how God can make a year better than another even out of my expectation.

On top of all the Christmas presents I gotten, my mum had been a great blesser toward me.

She never saved a single cent when it came to me and though we are alike in temper yet my mum sometime put up with me in various ways and gave me space when none understand.

No wonder the bible said our parents bear to give a lot to us.

My mum gave and kept on giving.

She brought a logcake out of the blue and said it was for the new year celebration yet knowing that Jan is the month of my birthday, my mum brought it so that I can enjoy Jan.

She brought me a new chair since I often sat in front of the computer and worked.

Many sacrifices she had made for me, in one way or another...

This year I hadn't really been very much helps for her and on top of all. it was stressful in various ways for me, yet my mum never failed to love me.

Thanks mum! Thanks God for a wonderful mum.

Wonderful Christmas Eve

2007-12-25T07:58:00.000+08:00

Before I start blogging...

Wanna said I didn't go to JW Church service on sun in the end, as I was not feeling well... So for friends that went to look for me that day, I wasn't around thus you didn't see me.

And really had such a wonderful Christmas Eve.

Surprised to see Jin Long and Vincent on the mrt. Wow, I forgot their names for a moment and they laughed... =X Haha... But nonetheless, it was good to see them. Went with them to visit Trudy's store at the Bazaar, A5. She sold so many nice stuffs and in the end, after bringing Cindy they all to take a look, I also brought something too... Haha...

And really glad that Shaun's mum received Christ yesterday. She was such a modern mum. Really enjoyed her presence and Shaun was so happy as usual but much more for his mum is SAVED!

Christmas is a season of rejoicing for this is the day that Christ had born.

And beside, I was born 1 month after Christ.

So happy.

Happy birthday, Jesus!

Loving You

2007-12-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

Really love God more and more each minutes.

Yes, life is not as perfect as we hoped for, but this Christmas, I thanks God for my sheeps that stood by me and still standing by me even right now.

I received gifts that was just what I had been praying for.

I prayed for a pair of chopsticks with nice design, Bryan brought it for me and also for the whole CG and it was my favorite design, Sakura Flowers.

I craved and prayed for Belguim chocolates, Jolebe brought a box of Belgium chocolates for me and she drew a 4 pages bunny pics for me and it was linked to the card that she drew for Cindy.

I prayed for a box to put my small accessories, Li Ping brought a small decorated box in a cross shaped and it was a box that can also put accessories.

And on top of it, I received cards from Cindy, Cas...

I was so touched that I nearly cried as I opened them up.

I never thought that what I willing to sow, God allowed it to reap back.

Yes, this season, I faced with problems and sometimes I felt hurts when friends don't understand what I went through just to secure the times that I can come for CG and services yet I thanks God for people who stand by me and people who encouraged me and believed in me.

For the hurting part, I still getting past it for some people really being very mur and caused me to feel mur for them...

Yet, I will still following God's guidance.

It really wonderful to just follow Him...

Now I got 2 new friends cum juniors that will be in my group.

I was amazed at the works of God and how He moved.

Really really amazed.

Loving You, Jesus.

You are wonderful.

Amazing...

Everythings that no one can compare to.

You make my life exciting.

Make my life fulfilling.

I loved You Jesus...

49 more friends!

2007-12-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

God can create MIRACLES!

We pledged for 82 friends this Christmas.

Though we only reached 33 friends... And still got 49 to go yet God is great.

Many of us is getting our family members confirmed and I also trying to get my mum...

Having a bunch of friends that ranging from NP to SP to NYP, I still praying for friends to come.

We all worked hard yet we aiming higher...

N266 targeted 80 people.

With 2 CGs from the same origin, will we make history yet again?

180 people?

We will when we put our heart to it.

We are already at rear 4, and even after sat, rear 4 will be all that we going for.

I'm so excited.

Having a bus filled with youths tomorrow.

It's times to yet again going for what God has told us.

Move with no regrets.

And God will make a way for me too in my family and my friends.

Though this is a times when my friends from my course all had works during weekends and Christmas period yet I thanks God He let this goes past me so that I can still reach out and also integrated my members' friends.

Let live a life of no regrets.

Went past the tireness of the flesh...

Reaching for the refleshing water of God.

More souls...

More revivals.

Every single campuses...

Every single ground.

Everything belonged to God Almighty.

49 more friends...

I can do it and I shall do it.

A Heart After God

2007-12-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

Reading Max Lucado's daily devotion...

My heart was felt with unknown feelings.

Thinking, pondering...

A deep desire burns forth again in my heart.

A deeper desire to once again found the Lord.

The past encounters no longer kept me moving.

New encounters are what going to keep me focus.

I walked the wrong corners of life, making detours and sometime, bumped into the walls, yet my Lord is faithful till the end.

Maybe that why I always found myself staring at Him when I make a turn from the wall that I bumped into.

Had been a year since we moved to expo.

As great as it might be...

I found myself becoming complacent without myself knowing.

Walking backward to where I not supposed to do.

Blaming God at the end of the days and crying out for solutions.

Typical humans, typical men.

I don't wanna be typical.

I wanna be myself.

I wanna be who God called me to be.

He sent women and men of God to speak to me and it took a final words to bring me back to reality.

Considering, pondering.

Should I move into that direction and go toward the 2nd vision that He gave me?

I was so afraid for that was what I determined not to go into, yet God make a surprise turn at me.

He will make a way if I take it, but it required my obedient and determination.

Decision is hard to make, yet I chosen it at this moment.

Struggling is not a pleasant feeling.

Fighting is not a pleasant feeling.

The flesh against the spirit.

It is not a pleasant feeling.

Maybe it's time, to take upon the 1st thing God 1st opened to me. Before I move into the realm of spiritual.

One at a time.

I yearning for the voice of the Lord.

Like what Max Lucado mentioned...

"God does not see the same way people see. People look at the outside of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart." II Samuel 16:7

Seven sons pass. Seven sons fail. The procession comes to a halt.

Samuel counts the siblings: one-two-three-four-five-six-seven. “Jesse, don’t you have eight sons?” A similar question caused Cinderella’s stepmother to squirm. Jesse likely did the same. “I still have the youngest son. He is out taking care of the sheep.” (v. 11)

The Hebrew name for “youngest son” is haqqaton. It implies more than age, it suggests rank. The haqqaton was more that the youngest brother- the runt, the hobbit, the “bay-ay-ay-by.”

Sheep watching fits the family haqqaton. Put the boy where he can’t cause trouble. Leave him with woolly heads and open skies.

What caused God to pick him? We want to know. We really want to know.

“The Lord does not see as a man sees: for the man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (v.7)

Those words were written for the haqqatons of society, for misfits and castouts. God uses them all.

Moses ran from justice, but God used him.

Jonah ran from God, but God used him.

Rahab ran a brothel, Samson ran to the wrong woman, Jacob ran in circles, Ruth ran to a distant land, Elijah ran into the mountains, Sarah ran out of hope, Lot ran with the wrong crowd, but God used them all.

And David? God saw a teenage boy, serving him in the backwoods of Bethlehem, at the intersection of boredom and anonymity, and through the voice of a brother, God called, “David! Come in. Someone wants to see you.”

God saw what no one else saw: a God-seeking heart. Others measure your waist size or wallet. Not God. He examines hearts. When he finds one set on him, he calls it and claims it.

I ran before, I hid before.

But I got searched out by the Lord.

Now with nothing can hide...

I can only follow.

A heart after You.

That what I asked for.

Miracles Moving Hands of God...

2007-12-10T01:04:00.000+08:00

Really really never regret going for the JW church service even after the Singapore Expo Sat Service.

It was tiring in a way.

Maybe it was because I always slept late and woke up early.

Yet today as I entered into the hall, the presence of God touched me like never before.

Thanks to God, I found a very front seats that was very near the stage and it reminded me of those good old days when Hui Jun and Cliff were still in SOT and I often came for services of the big days. I would always came early and be the 1st person to stand behind the doors and waited for it to open.

People thought I reached too early, people wondered where I got the energy from yet all secrets is with my God who gives me strength.

And as I settled down with my members, there was this lady who sat beside me. She came to this service alone, and during the pre-prayer meeting, I wanna to pray with her but she seemed to be very shy and many times rejected my offer. A sense of no-choice came to me and I turned to my members and prayed with them.

I enjoyed everythings, from praise and worship, to the message that rev. Dr. John Avanzini talked about. It was the same message but I received like never before. It talked about God seeing us under the fig tree and be the true Israelite without falsehood.

I was so amazed by it and all I could do was to wow, wow and to WOW!

And that moment, God was trying to speak to my heart and as the service continued, all that built within me was faith.

And what so different of this service than the one in expo was, when it was the offering time, instead of putting the envelope in the offering basket, Rev. Dr. John Avanzini suddenly asked us to come up to the altar to put down the offering.

Multitudes upon multitudes of people stood up and started to walk toward the altar.

My heart was pumping and I was looking at all those people walking pass me.

I didn't know what to do.

Already increased what was supposed to increase on sat, what more can I do for You, my Lord?

My heart was beating like never before. I didn't has the envelope caused I wondered where my bulletin went too and I thought yesterday pledges was enough, just suddenly the Lord spoke.

"Give!"

And without knowing, I saw a spare envelope on the floor and picked it up and wrote whatever I supposed to write and followed the crowds, I ran to the altar.

Tears flowing down my cheeks.

Tears of excitement and joy.

I felt so released.

Maybe that what it was meant to be.

I given all my livelihood in exchange of the promises of God.

Who knows what gonna happened to me beside God?

And I never knew, as I went back to my seat, sometime after my return, the lady who sat beside me returned also.

And it might sound funny but she started to talk to me, the more we talked, the more excited we were. And suddenly, God said to exchange no. with her. While people were still moving toward the altar to lay down their offering, I asked her for her no.

She was a malaysian, and she given me 2 no., before I could give her my no, Rev. Dr. John Avanzini asked all people to stand and worship God.

So I stopped and told her to wait after the service finished.

But before we knew it, my hp called to her hp and I cut it off.

My bible pressed the dialled button.

My heart bursted with joy.

Divine, divine...

That all I know.

God did many times for me to get to know people from various zone through various means and now in service, He did it again. The last history friend-making was in a female toilet at expo, now in service?

That must be God Himself.

He is really a miracles moving God.

With His hands, He moved mountains.

Really was speechless for a moment.

God, really You are great and good to me.

Letting Go of Sadness, Inviting Happiness...

2007-12-07T22:37:00.000+08:00

Never will I ever stopped releasing sadness caused by the world and inviting happiness from God into my life.

This past week had been the toughest week thus far.

Never can anyone believed, this attachment of mine was one of the those happening ever in my whole entire course.

In 2 days straight, I met with the spirit of death at workplace and overcame the fears of corpses to complete my world-given job at this moment.

Tears ran dried. I often asked God in the past, "Abba, Abba. Where are you when I saw no ressurection."

And like Pastor Kong hoped that he can ressurect people, I with the same wish, also tried to do so but it never happened.

Losing gripped of the faith, many times I swallowed the tears and said I gonna be strong.

Times wasn't easy. To choose this path during this period of my life, I really wondered many times, was that why I tried smile whenever I out of it?

Yet with a simple promise, thousands of doubts flew from my mind.

All is filled with the presence of God, even till now, I never forget the one simple promise my God and Abba made toward me 2 years ago.

"As many deaths as you witnessed, thousands upon thousands of new lives you shall see."

With tears, I finally understood.

I am called for greatness that for sure but in my hands, I can bring lives and Jesus into the hearts of men.

I once thought maybe I will someday has the power of resurrection and I has no doubt cause if Jesus can do it, we as children of God who called to do greater works than what Jesus performed while He was on earth can also do so.

Yet, I knew God is referring to the vision and calling in my hands.

AAnd I learned to let go of sadness and welcome happiness.

I complainted at times, I cried secretly at times, I mumbled at times, I hid away at times, yet my God seeked me out times after times.

After every mistakes I made, every wrong doings I done, my God still said He is with me.

I know He never forsaken me, He never wannna me to stay away from me.

He called me into a fellowship.

To get to know Him better.

To love Him deeper.

And to be His child forever.

My Abba Father, teach me to love You more and more everyday.

Give me the grace to overcome the weaknesses of my flesh and to overcome all temptation around me.

With You, I walked through mountains and valleys.

Knowing that You will always be with me.

My Abba Father.

Thanks for being the Father of my life.

Trick or Treat, From God or from satan?

2007-12-05T00:05:00.000+08:00

Understanding is not enough.

Applying is what make a different.

Because of an incident, I understood the true meaning of the trick from the devils and the treat from God.

I was once often trick by the devil to believe that my life can be good without God. My life can be freed without God.

Yet I never realised that it was what bonded me deeper to the devil till I realised that my God loved me beyond all that I can imagine.

God always give me treat. Unlike the devil who give treat at first but suffering and bondage at the end. God always sent His blessings at the most unexpected period of my life and greatly help me through my toughest times.

I know my toughest time haven't come yet for one mountain is always higher than another and one challenge higher than another challenge, yet our faith will bring us through.

My faith brought me through all challenges so far and I getting ready for more in future.

With every great destiny comes great challenges.

I giving it all from this point onward to run a good fight of faith.

I wanna to kill giants and devils and keep my faith.

I rather got treat from God then to get trick by devils. Not worth my life at all.

I got a greater life to life for.

And I lived it for God.

Getting Through

2007-11-30T08:33:00.001+08:00

It has all begun...

All according to the plans of God.

Yesterday went for make-up CG. Victor was the one leading.

Unlike the normal youths CGM that I went for in the past, this was purely a young adults and adults CG. Nothing fanciful, just introduction and begun with Praise.

We were very comfortably sat around a tea table with cushions.

I had never been to a adults CGM and really, this was a time of encounter with God.

Simple message, with straightforward points.

Victor was talking about the 4 keys to realising our dreams and visions.

It wasn't like I never heard before.

I had once heard it from Cliff and it was that time when my vision enlarged.

And now? Hearing it all over again brought forth new revelations and a reminder of my faith and covenant with God the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

As Victor ended the message, he called for people to respond for altar call if they wanna to look for their vision.

I didn't raise up my hand for since I ever knew God and walked with Him, my vision has slowly being revealed and confirmed, so I decided to support the atmosphere.

But God seemed to has a different idea.

Victor was walking through the people and suddenly, I felt the Holy Spirit coming close to me and before I knew it, Victor lay his hands on me.

He was praying in tongues for a while. No words was spoke forth immediately but the moment he spoke, I knew and I knew that it was a confirmation of what the Lord had assured me.

I know, it won't be easy for me from this point of life onward, but to fulfill my calling, I'm going to hold on to God, my Peace and Comforter.

Enchanted

2007-11-28T11:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterday after the PW, I was so crazy after hearing Yu Jie talking about Enchanted that I went and dragged Val to go watch with me.

Really, it was a nice and funny movie.

A fairytale world and a reality world.

I kept on laughing and laughing till I can't stop.

I really like how the girl in the movie can be so blur in a foreign world and thought that everythings can have a happy ending.

Well, one thing that the movie said really touched my heart.

Shouldn't let the good memories be forgotten because of the bad times that we face...

It wasn't the actual phrase that was being said but if I am to translate it from chinese to english, that what it means.

And many of the times, the walk with God is like that.

Filled with wonderful memories yet when bad times come, we forgotten how wonderful God is.

God is forever wonderful.

And we shouldn't let the bad times stole those precious memories away.

And though in reality, there isn't any fairytale life but we got a more precious to treasure.

The life of creating unforgetable good memories out of the bad times that we faced.

Now I am truly enchanted by my God.

Moving from 2007 into 2008

2007-11-27T16:11:00.000+08:00

One more month before we entered into a brand new year.

I really couldn't believe what I had gone through for the past 1 years.

It's really something I couldn't imagine.

A regaining of my vision.

Meeting wonderful friends.

Having a clearer picture of my visions, calling and the plans that God has for me.

Walking out of valley of the shadow of death.

It was a wonderful year to say.

Now I got a greater vision for next year.

The end is always better than the beginning and a new beginning is always better than the past.

I got so much more to go for.

As God prompted me to restart my walk and to look upon Him for the faith to fulfill my vision, I understood that all those minor things that I wasted my energy and time on was what the once led me away.

From rising up to stagnancy to finding God again. Life is often faced with ton of decisions and obstacles.

What I was once called for, because of my heart that was unsettled, I told God to just listened to what I want but I often forgotten what God want. And as I led my mind and heart back to Him, I slowly understand that my God still has His plan for me.

He answered prayers, yet He got a greater plan for our future.

Not what we hoped for, what we want will always be answered. As long as it's not part of God's will and contradict to His words, He will not answer.

As I looked toward God, all God asked was for me to let down my price and self-desire to answer to His call and picked up His cross once again.

It was not one time but dozen of times when He said pick up your cross and follow me.

And looking forward, for now till the end of 2008, I wished to fulfill many many things then ever before...

1. I wanna pass through these 10 weeks attachment period with no regret but be a good testimony and shine in my workplace. Even if it mean, I got to leave later. And nonetheless, I wanna keep on fighting for my sat and sun freedom. God once said once I gone through these, greater blessings and greater breakthrough shall come. I believe and claim it in Jesus' name. Though at first it was hard but there are so many people stand by me and believing in me. I know I can because my God said that I can.

2. To be in leadership meeting. Definitely I called into CG ministry and full-time ministry. And I'm not gonna compromise but work toward it.

3. I wanna rised up and be a woman of God. Be more decisive, more creative, more strong in the spirit, more fervent for God in prayer and fasting. Be a better daughter to my parents.

4. For healing for my back and my voice. After started taking over offering from Cindy beside testimony, I discovered that my throat can't stand the pressure I placed on it and having high pitch doesn't help. My throat hurted when I talked too much. Cindy said don't end up like her need to go for operation so I better start to take care of it or else when I take a CG and need to preach for at least 20 min, I won't be able to stand it and people won't be able to hear me well if I keep on using high pitch tone.

5. To improve my grammar in speech. Pastor Kong was once not a very good speaker. Pastor Benny Hinn was once struggled with stammer problem but they all overcame it. With them as examples, I wanna overcome this problem of speech.

6. To experience a greater anointing from God.

7. To experience a revival in my spirit.

8. To be part of the NYP revival. Not only because I'm one of the pioneer but because that was once of my vision.

9. To commit myself more to NYP cluster and CG ministry and witness the revival in both area.

10. To spend less time on fiction stories and spend times finishing my daily devotions, sermons and books.

11. Open up my house/room for PM and BS class. Be a trained and effective BS teacher.

12. To go Taiwan and at least go for one mission trip to experience God in a greater way that is out of my comfort zone.

There are so much more that I can do and I know that as I experienced revival in my spirit, everything around me shall also experience revival.

12 is the no of government and leadership. Next year will be a greater year whereby I faced with greater challenges at the same time I shall become stronger.

Start the year right. 1 more month too go before I entered into a brand new year.

Let all work hard!

Praise God for wonderful friends...

2007-11-27T13:47:00.000+08:00

Praise God for lovely friends who remember me.

Praise God for Mei Mei. A gal that I clicked well when we met during an attachment. We worked almost everyday together. Helping one another, teaching one another. Sometime, it isn't a good day to work with me, for I am blur at times, clumsy at times. I stepped her foot a few times and bumped into her a few times but she always accepted my clumsy and said that it is what that make me cute. You are one of the best gal! Seldom get to contact you, but I always remeber those times when we went to the cafeteria together, treated one another to fruits. It was my 1st time really felt that I should eat more fruits. I am so excited to meet you again and this time round, wanna to ask her to join me for the NYP fellowship.

Praise God for Mandy. There were times when you too faced the trials of gotten stepped by me and there were times when you felt so diao because of this but nonetheless, thanks God for having you as my friend. We went out together to shop and I starting to have even better dressing sense because of you. Maybe that why God placed you in my life to teach me this. And I never forget those devils casting moments at your mum's chalet. Well, gonna find time to spend with you someday since you going over to JW church this week.

Praise God for Val. What to say, I'm you adopted rabbit plus Bug Bunny. And so touched when read you blog that wanna to hug every body. Now I wanna to hug you back too. Thanks God for knowing you. It was fun actually. To tease some another and have fun with one another. One arm sword lady is no more for your 2 arms is back in action. See you around when I go for the NYP felloship.

Praise God for Carissa. My newly adopted gal-friend. Well, one who totally understand my lame jokes. What to say, we shared jokes, we defend one another, we teased one another but nothing can compare to what I do to her. She is so cute when being teased. And we enjoyed one another company.

Praise God for brothers that I can talk about God with. You guys really encouraged me in one way or another. Regardless about ministry, works or whatever. You guys really are a bunch of true friends. I don't need to name it out for God shall show you. Haha...

It was amazing how a year ago, I was telling my PCGL that how I wish to find good friends. And a year later, God placed wonderful friends in my life to help me realised myself more and more everyday.

The encouragement really helped, the presence really helped.

Beside God, these companionships is really very nice and comforting.

Friends are forever and forever you shall be my friends...

The end is the start of a new beginning...

2007-11-26T00:44:00.000+08:00

Finally, Elaine's wedding ended in a fun moment.

The restaurant was really nice and Elaine was really beautiful.

And Dorcus suggested to sabo Elaine and Terrance but ended up, the MC, Cindy and Reid were being sabo to dance.

And to further worsen it, Cliff, Pearly, Elijah and I nearly got dragged down to dance. Thanks God, Cliff and Elijah asked us to sneak away so poor Reid and Cindy got to face the whole crowds themselves.

Nonetheless, we enjoyed the whole event.

Next one shall be Dorcus' wedding.

Dorcus, Elaine and Elijah.

The amazing siblings.

Dorcus who is the CGL of current N161, the 1st leader which brought forth N266 and ultimately E457.

Elaine who invested a lot in my life, taught me how to trust God and communicate with Him and never being lead away from my vision. She is one of the few who ever believe in my potential for future full-time ministry. Elijah, the ever lame brother. The one who shared all the lame sabo pranks... Only 16, very focus on vision and well, must said, when Cindy and I not around, he and another helper really make things happened and easy for us. Standing in the gap, it make us rest our heart as Cindy going for overseas and I seldom be around due to work.

Though Elaine ended her singlehood life and entered into a new phrase of life but through all these, she leave a strong legacy and beliefs in the heart of those helpers who were once with her.

The end is always the start of a new beginning.

She ended a phrase well and beginning another phrase well.

Really, I learnt so much from her...

Glad that I was in part of this event.

Though Lexx, Grace and Justin also helped saboing me while I was eating but then, we witnessed the fun of Reid and Cindy being teased by Elaine and Terrance.

That was called, never has your mic taken from you if you are the mc, for you gonna find yourself at the mercy of others.

Well, tomorrow is another hard working day for me. So bye bye!

A Step of Faith

2007-11-25T16:49:00.000+08:00

A step of faith, as I stepped out of my comfort zone and stopped listening to the voices of men, I decided to ask for request to allow me to wrote a note and requested to have sat and sun off.

I never knew God will place a faciliator who is just as committed to her church in my midst and reading her note of request to the authority gave me the faith to ask for their understanding.

This past 2 weeks, I had been trying my best to ask and they granted me the 1st 2 weeks of request but they can't never give me a confirmation for what I told them.

People came and tried to tell me that as student, we can't ask and fight for what we want but I feel different for I know my God make the impossible become possible.

What He done for me, He can do it again and again.

Even when faith seem to be disappearing but when a touch from heaven come into my life, faith arise.

I know no matter what the world think about me, my God think differently.

The world judged us for our mistakes but God is fair and love us nonetheless.

As we dare to take a step of faith and received what Lord had already won, the victory will forever be ours.

But if we listens to the voice of the world, we will never know the true plan of God.

I know my God is mighty and He turn my life around.

It about whether I want to fight for it or not.

I thanks God for the courage and the faith.

Fight the fight of faith!

Restarting this journey with God

2007-11-25T00:28:00.000+08:00

Wonderful service with wonderful words of God.

Revelations pouring down and heart slowly opened.

It was a wonderful time to spend in the house of God.

A voice of heaven spoke into my heart.

And all I knew is it's a voice that told me that all in my life is restarting and I gonna move on like never before.

I always felt I never fully turn from the detour and the barrier and now God is restarting my life with purity, sanctification and a brand new chapter with Him...

So much more to my simple vision.

So much more to His work.

I gonna start to do what He called me to do.

I got a brand new start, a brand new journey with the same God of yesterday, today and forever more.

He cleared away my past mistakes and allowed me to walk in the light and I thanks God for always being there for me.

I now can boldly say I living with God forever more.

He is the same yesterday, today and forever more but nonetheless, His creative mind is still there for us.

I going further with God...

Further with Him...

Bouquet of flowers...

2007-11-24T12:22:00.000+08:00

Finally, Elaine had her matrimony at Victoria Concert Hall...

It was such a lovely holy matrimony, with Pastor Aries to hold this union, it was such a lovely scene. Nearly cried as Elaine gave her thanksgiving message.

So much had happened...

Terrance's mum who is Elaine''s mother-in-law, nearly tripped over the stair, Cindy's shoe broke, the bridegroom best man nearly tripped over the stair too...

Our heart was thumping like crazy yet ultimately, it ended with a happy ending.

Had our stomach full with the food and took photo with Elaine.

Really hope to meet up with her again soon. With her already married. She really leave behind a legacy in N266. For being the most faithful sister and being the most youngest bride in GGT zone. Though she is now in CK zone but her love will always being reminded.

And guess what?

Half of the girls attending the matrimony leave the place after the reception without waiting for the throwing of the bouquet flowers.

Those who left behind was N161, N266, E457 girls...

And guess who got the flowers?

Well...

Well...

Well...

It's me... =.="

I can't believe I took the boouquet home.

And at the same time, become the joke of the matrimony.

Well, long story but nonetheless Cliff and Cindy won't let me off.

Cindy announced to whoever CGL she met and told them the story.

Cliff kept on saying about on sale and registration...

I meant... What so funny about the bouquet?

Going to service is even paiseh.

Everyone stared at me...

People I know and people I don't know.

Well, one of the CGL we met is Shi Xiong. And he said that who know what God planned.

But the flowers are nice, though starting to dry up.

I gave a rose to Michelle.

A bush to Candice.

Leaves to Olivia, Jun Jie and Shaun.

Well, Cindy asked me to take a photo with the bouquet and here it is...

Tomorrow is Elaine's wedding banquet.

Exciting...

It's my 1st time attending a friend's wedding.

My 1st batch of N266 helpers when I 1st came church.

The one that taught me how to be a better woman of God.

The one who listened and gave me advices when I met problems.

A wonderful sister and woman of God that God place in our life.

A Day of Rejoicing

2007-11-24T09:54:00.000+08:00

Yes, finally it's the time...

It's Elaine's wedding MATRIMONY day...

1st time ever to attend a fellow ex-CG helper and friend's wedding, the feeling is really difference.

So many of us gathering for a matrimony later at Victoria Concert Hall, wow, it's really a different kind of classical feeling.

I only been there for competition and it shall be the 1st time I seeing a matrimony being held there.

Tomorrow is her wedding banquet.

Though I need to work in the morning but at night I can enjoy myself in the presence of friends as we rejoice and be happy for her.

It is such a merriest day of the year.

The ending is always better than the beginning.

Can't imagine, she got married so young yet she really deserved this.

A faithful sister in Christ, who served God faithfully and kept to her vow till the end.

She leave a legacy behind in ex-N266 and E457.

We shall continue moved on and reaching for a higher goal in Christ.

It's a day of rejoicing!

I hope I can grab some photo after this...

=P

Never Compromise With Myself

2007-11-22T22:34:00.000+08:00

Never, I said never compromise with myself.

With an attachment and the unfixed schedule, you could said that my once fixed lifestyle is all messed up.

The stress from entering a new envronment and handling new people, it wasn't all that easy.

I asked and asked, seeked out one after another authority before I found one who allowed me to change schdeule just so that I can still make it for my main service, it took all willpower not to compromise.

To stand firm on my belief while my mind tried to tell me otherwise.

To block out the disapproves voices from my fellow co-workers just because they told me not to request for too many weekends off yet I still asked, the types of stress that I felt, it enough to ask me to compromise, yet I kept on reminding myself that it worth fighting for.

Stress from still getting used to the environment and my facilitator is very good but so fast she stretched my capacity and stress tolerance to the max when at a go she handled 3 patients for me to take charge. I being the blur me, didn't hear what she said and kept doing junior work till she asked me to write reports. And in the end, I finished those reports but I ended up working 1 more hour of OT.

Yes, it is tiring but weirdly, it allowed me to have a feeling of how it is like to take charge and I thanks God for holding on.

And I was sad at first when being told not to attend the helpers' discipleship for I not able to promise them about my schedule and they required people who can commit themselves and all my fellow co-kingdom workers all encouraged me and said they will share with me and at that moment, I knew that yes I might be sad but I aiming for something higher...

Something along the line of leadership and I believed, God will make a way as I fulfilling all that He called me to be.

Yes, I make it a point to never trust myself to stand strong but to trust God and to trust God for His strength for holding me up.

Never compromise is what I believe in.

We compromise when come to reconciling human relationships but we never compromise when it come to our beliefs in God.

I believe as we trust our life in God, He will make a way.

It proven every day in my work place.

He make a way for me and He continue to make a way.

So trust in God more than trusting in yourselves.

You never lost out.

From the heart...

2007-11-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

Reflections upon reflections.

Revelations upon revelations.

It is yet another wonderful time chatting and talking to God of my burdens, my problems and ask for His york to be upon me.

It wasn't an easy period of times, seeing I got to tune myself to a new environment and to pray for breakthrough.

So many things had happened in my 3 years and 3 months walk with God.

Compare to those 16 years that I spent in the world, it is great to know my God.

When I don't know what to do with life.

God give me all that I need.

There're many times I met up with people I don't like but God is still wonderful.

Through His eyes, I learnt to see thing more positively and to believe and trust in Him.

From the bottoom of my heart...

I really thanks God for being there with me.

It wasn't an easy journey for me yet I believing for yet another one for me.

Prospering...

2007-11-18T21:11:00.000+08:00

I shall continue to prosper like never before!

Settle my 1st fruit of building fund, I am looking forward to the remainder 5 months.

I didn't give super a lot but compare to the past, it was a step of faith.

Last year I nearly can't fulfill it, but by God's grace, as I received my ang bao's money, I gave all I had to God and 6 months later, I started reaping back what I had already sow.

God is good.

He blessed me and allowed me to have enough to live by.

To have enough to make sure that I can live a life of fulfilling my own needs beside the needs of others.

I believe in greater prosperity as I start praying for a guidance of my future and a new job prospect after my SOT.

Thanks God for all the wonderful things He done for me.

Love You God...

Above all...

2007-11-18T02:18:00.000+08:00

I glad I went for N161's CG for make-up.

It had been such a long time ever since I had properly met up their members to fellowship.

How long has it been?

One year?

Ever since 2006 Emerge, I hadn't really look for them.

It was a wonderful time of CG meeting.

Praying for 2 hours till my voice all gone, then listening to Brendan sharing about Ecc 1-12, it was pure revelations from heaven.

King Solomon, the wisest man of the whole world, written this book of wisdom that spoke of all the things that he had tested with his wisdom and ultimately everythings found out that everythings goes back to God.

And as Brendan gone through every chapters of Ecc, he came to Ecc 12: 13-14.

13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.

14 For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.

And all that had been written in the previous chapters, Solomon concluded by saying, everythings we can forget but one thing we must remember...

"FEAR GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS."

The fear is not the kind of fear which literally caused us to run away from God, but this fear is the kind of fear which we honor God for His authority and power and reverance Him above everythings of our life.

Above money, above relationships...

Above everythings.

That what God deserved.

Our devotion.

Give your life to God, and your life will never be the same again.

The Impossible Make Possible

2007-11-18T02:06:00.000+08:00

A fight of faith...

The impossible make possible.

I thanks my God, for making miracles happens and let the world be amazed.

These last part of my actual schooling life in poly, I revisited my vision.

A vision of revival.

Yes, it's not easy to keep the fire.

But it takes one heart to keep it burning.

The heart to be with God.

I don't know what gonna happened in the next few months, but I know God will make the impossible become possible.

I lost so much, yet I gained much more than I can ever imagine.

My God is a God who make up for our losses and bless us through all our life.

Wisdom doesn't come just because we are smart.

But wisdom come when God is our everythings.

It's another brand new walk, and a brand new journey with God when everythings goes back to where we are at the beginning...

Loving God wholeheartedly, loving people fervently.

It's not one area I am strong at, yet I know, my God will make the impossible become possible.

Fears chased away.

Doubts casted away.

Now is the time, the season of preparation.

From taking down from the shelves till burning in the fire...

It's a process that I can't run from yet I know, my God will make me strong...

For when I am weak, He is strong.

The faith to carry on...

2007-11-18T01:58:00.000+08:00

It's takes Your love to bring me through.

This period of self-reflection.

This period of sanctification.

This period of moulding.

It's takes Your faith to carry on.

Every tears I shed, I shed for You.

The desire to seek for You.

It's take Your faith to carry on.

Every visions, every dreams...

It's through Your eyes I received.

It's no longer this flesh that lives.

But it's You who lives on.

It's take Your love, Your grace, for me to know.

Yet, I thanks You Jesus for being here with me.

Stay with me o Lord.

For I now stay with no one, but You.

It's Your faith that bring me through and shall always bring me through.

Revival Spirit

2007-11-16T08:17:00.000+08:00

We thirst for revival...

Hungry for revival...

Ask for revival...

Greenridge is on revival fire...

And NYP shall be on revival fire.

A vision given by God...

I once lost it when revival seemed to be so impossible in the past.

But now, as the people gathered, once again, the fire of God is among us.

The consuming fire of God...

Pour down from heaven like never before.

It's time for revival and the spirit is among us.

It's time, and it's the season.

Be who God called you to be...

2007-11-15T20:47:00.000+08:00

Many times, I had ever talk about being who God called you to be...

And many of the times, I am wondering what kind of person God want me to be.

Many people told me different things.

Some said I'm soft-spoken.

Some said I'm fierce.

Some said I'm scary.

Some said I'm polite.

Some said... I'm "whatever" they wanna be to be...

But what kind of person does God exactly want me to be?

Many of the times, it feel nice when people praised and many of the times, it feel bad when people said something about about your characters, yet have they ever saw the "you" that God has known ever since we were born into this world.

Yet, I slowly learned, people only saw things in their own perspective, but often in times, what they labeled you as might not be the actual you that they thought they have known.

Often in times, they thought they know who you are, but actually, they only see one side of you and missed out the other 3 sides of you.

I'm not talking about hypocrisp who are known as "actor" who pretend to be someone they are not just to get people to love them...

But I talking about the actual you...

The one that God has known inside out.

The one that has a human face, an ox face, a lion face and an eagle face.

I'm not trying to be creepy.

But at different situations, these different faces will arise so that you can deal with the issues of life.

Sometime, people only see one of these 4 faces of mine...

And time after time, I was face with the struggle of asking myself...

Who am I?

Yet I realised, it not what the world and people said about me...

But what exactly has God said about me?

That when you will be surprised...

God knopw more than you think His know.

He know your weaknesses, your strengths...

More than anyone know about you on this world.

And His desire is to see us growing and being mould to be who He called us to be.

Dump aside the voice of humans and tune into the voice of God.

Listen to Him as He speak as gently as a dove.

And receiving from Him the visions and dreams that He wanna you to carry.

You will be amazed how much God has planned for your life.

Be who God called you to be.

Wonderful God...

2007-11-15T20:18:00.000+08:00

A start of my attachment...

Lesser time to work.

More time to spend giving life to the workplace in hospital.

Wonder how I should feel.

Happy?

Sad?

Excited?

Passive?

Many feelings I can feel...

Yet I thanks my God at the last part of my poly life...

It is not sadness that I feel...

Tired it's maybe...

Yet at the last part of this journey...

God placed nice people who are understanding in my life.

I'm able to request to either work morning shift or to have off day on weekend because it is what I want, to be in church...

It's tiring yes, and today wasn't any better, lost my stuffs, feeling sad for a moment, then picked myself up and focusing on my request to change my work timing, God really make it a way.

The devils tried to pull me down, but God lifted me up...

He gave me grace and allowing me to go further.

He is really my strength, my One and only Pillar.

Wonderful God He is and forever He is wonderful.

When hope seem to be lost...

2007-11-12T21:51:00.000+08:00

Many times in life, people asked, where God when I need Him? Where God when we are under the oppression of a corrupted government? Where God when my family leave me one by one? Where God when I am alone? Where God when I suffered on earth?

Yet when hope seem to be lost, God hasn't abandoned us as we thought He did.

He is still there as He always do been omnipresent...

And just like how He stayed by King David's side when he faced persecution from King Saul, He is also staying by our side, watching over us, protecting us when the devils tried to oppress us from many sides.

I once lost my hope when life didn't seem to be getting better ever since I knew God...

I was on fire after converting, yet the fire died as many went away and it further died off when misunderstanding arised from within those who I thought I can learn to love, and it finally died off when I thought hope was lost.

Yet, at the most unexpected time, God threw me off my crown of self-centerness and bring Himself back into my life when I thought He long give up on me.

A very simple answer He gave...

"I never give up on you, I'm always there when you thought I'm gone. I will never ever leave you."

A promise. A word. A love. A passion.

It is what the reignite a dying fire.

God is always merciful.

In this fallen world, there is God and at the same time there is devil who is also known to many as satan. Satan's purpose is to destroy lives while God's purpose is to restore lives. While God come sincerely, devil come deceitfully. Devil feed us lies while God feed us truths.

Matt 28:20 NIV, "And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of this age."

It is not just a promise to the church, the pastors, but it is a promise to everyone...

So when you thought that all hope is gone, all visions is being destroy...

Think twice, it is really God leaving us or just we ourselves neglecting the truth that God will be with us no matter what.

Trust in the Lord your God and He shall fulfill all that we ever need...